


Twist of Fate

by misslivvie



Series: Chronicles of KISSteria [21]
Category: KISS (US Band)
Genre: Diplomacy, First Dates, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Masturbation, Moving On, Politicians, Post-Break Up, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Self-Esteem Issues, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, for only like one little scene but i thought i'd tag it anyway, like... years and years after tho, there's also a guy in there that I totally based off of balem abrasax, they deserve their own warning lol, what the elder deserves her own tag lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:42:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28271088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misslivvie/pseuds/misslivvie
Summary: After a messy break-up with Nikki Terror, Starchild has been dedicated to improving himself and growing as an individual. It’s been years since he gave any thought to pursuing a romantic relationship. But will a diplomatic trip to Jendell change his mind?
Relationships: Ace Frehley & Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley/Jeanette Frehley, Paul Stanley/Tommy Thayer
Series: Chronicles of KISSteria [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1400458
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Return to Jendell

**Author's Note:**

> Shout-out goes to Shandi for yelling about ideas for this story with me for months before I wrote it lol. I posted this on Tumblr as well. I've also written a whole ton of shit for the KISSteriaverse, so get ready for a massive influx of KISSteriaverse stories XD but for now, enjoy!!
> 
> In which Starchild and the Elder arrive in Jendell, and Starchild and Ace mend their broken ties.

If Starchild were to ever look back, he would probably berate himself for being such a fool. He had been naïve and idealistic, thinking he could change Nikki Terror by loving him. He had given him everything, ignoring all the warnings from his friends and ignoring all the reasons why he shouldn’t, forgiving Nikki for everything he did, because he thought it would change him for the better. There were so many things wrong with him—and with Nikki, but he was the most concerned about himself by the end.

He would also think sadly about how it ended up taking a major threat from a demon called Blackie, that Nikki himself had Summoned, and KISS teaming up with the Motley Crue to deal with it, to make him realize all of this. He was stressed, angry, tired, and confused, but even amid his confusion, he knew one thing—he couldn’t be with Nikki anymore. For the sake of his sanity and mental health, he couldn’t stay in a relationship that had decayed away to nearly nothing. So he ended it, completely severing their ties.

After that, he focused on himself—if he wanted to be happy, he had to work through his own problems that he had avoided or ignored for so long. So he did. He meditated; he started keeping a diary; he focused on KISS and his friends; he even found himself drawing again. He hadn’t picked up his sketchbook in years, not since leaving KISSteria with Demon, Ace, and Catman to form KISS. He took his duties as KISSteria’s Prince more seriously, finding books on politics from both Earth and his home and soaking up as much information as he could. He tried to forgive himself when he made a mistake, rather than consider himself a failure. Slowly, but surely, piece by piece, he dried his eyes, put his shattered heart back together and moved on. He always remembered how envious he was of Demon and Vinneketh’s loving relationship—if he couldn’t have someone who loved him like that, then he would try to love himself.

Life went on around him, and he tried to move with it. Revenge was recorded and they went on tour, and he tried embracing another side of himself; one that was loud and proud and swore and was outspoken and had fun. He liked that side of himself, and how he was able to embrace it and have fun with it without any strings attached. The years went by, blurred together, until one day he heard someone mention Motley Crue and Nikki Sixx… and he felt nothing. He simply smiled to himself and went back to the book he was reading. He was okay; he was sure now. He was going to be okay. He still felt like he had miles to go, even after years, but he was willing to try. Whether he succeeded or failed, or did both, he wanted to at least try.

“Starchild?”

Starchild blinked and pulled himself out of his thoughts. He turned from gazing out the ship window to the Elder. “Yes, Mother?”

“Are you all right? You’ve been quiet for a while now.”

Nodding, Starchild smiled slightly. “Yes, I am. I was just thinking.”

“A good pastime. What were you thinking about?”

He shrugged. “About our trip. I’m excited; I haven’t visited Jendell in years.”

“That is right, you haven’t. Would you be more excited if it weren’t for diplomacy? Gods know I would be.”

Starchild laughed with her. “I would, but I’m still excited. Diplomacy is important if we want to maintain our friendship with Jendell. If it means more years of peace, I’ll gladly participate.”

A slow smile came to the Elder’s face, and Starchild had decided after years of seeing it that he loved that smile—it meant she approved of his words and was proud of his words. No feeling in the world could match knowing he had his mother’s approval and feeling like he deserved it. “I’m very glad to hear that. The meetings will be numerous, and taxing, but they will be worth it.”

“I hope so,”

They were nearly there, so Starchild went back to looking out the window. Truth be told, he was mostly excited, but still a little nervous. He hadn’t seen Ace in years, only once after he married Princess Amalthea. And even then, it was awkward and painful, and he ended up avoiding him the entire time. Hopefully, things would be better this time.

When the ship landed, he could see a gathering of Jendellian officials waiting for them, and at the very front was Ace and Amalthea, with Tomaziel beside the King as always. It was nice to see Tomaziel was still Ace’s aide, as loyal and dedicated as ever.

Starchild and the Elder stood to get off the ship, and let the procession go first before them. The Elder went first, and Starchild paused to fix his black cloak patterned with silver stars before following behind her.

“Welcome, Elder,” Ace greeted, dressed in royal Jendellian robes. He gave them both a wide smile. “Welcome, Prince Starchild. Thank you for agreeing to make the journey.”

“I hope it was not a difficult one,” Amalthea said, dipping into a respectful curtsy.

The Elder smiled warmly at her. “You needn’t bow to your friends, Queen Amalthea. But no, the journey was far from difficult.”

“We were happy to make it,” Starchild spoke up, smiling respectfully.

Ace turned his eyes to him and smiled wider. “It’s good to see you again, Starchild,”

Starchild’s own smile widened. “It’s good to see you too, Ace,”

Then he suddenly found himself pulled into a hug, a friendly one. The two old acquaintances shared a laugh, and he felt a surge of happiness at the hug. It was a friendly one, yes, but he hoped it meant there were no hard feelings. All his worrying about how Ace would react to seeing him again faded away.

When Ace let him go, he turned to Amalthea and bowed his head to her. “Queen Amalthea. It’s lovely to see you looking so radiant.”

Amalthea laughed and returned the bow. “Why, thank you,”

Then Starchild turned to Tomaziel and nodded to him. “It’s good to see you again, too, Tomaziel,”

“The feeling is mutual, Prince Starchild,” Tomaziel bowed his head, then looked up in slight surprise when Starchild came forward and offered his hand. He looked up at Starchild, who only smiled invitingly, then back down at the extended hand. A small smile came to his face, and he reached out to take the hand and shake it.

But when their hands touched, Starchild jerked his away when he felt a sudden static shock and gave a surprised yelp. “Ow!”

Panic immediately came to Tomaziel’s face. “I’m so sorry!” he exclaimed, holding his hands up apologetically. “It was an accident! I swear, I did not mean to do that. I’m still learning how to control my electricity—I shouldn’t have done that. I am so sorry!”

“It’s all right, Tomaziel,” Starchild interrupted. He showed his hand. “I am perfectly fine. It was an accident, I understand. Really, it’s all right.”

Tomaziel briefly stared at him, then relaxed. “If you say so, Prince Starchild,”

“I do say so,” Starchild gave him a kind smile. “I could tell you about so many times where accidents happened because my own powers weren’t under control.”

Amalthea interrupted politely. “Shall we have our servants show you to your rooms? You would surely like to rest a bit before dinner.”

The Elder nodded. “That would be lovely, thank you. I am not as young as I used to be,” she added, smiling jokingly.

The five laughed and entered the palace.

* * *

Later that evening, Starchild stood in front of his mirror as he prepared for dinner. He set down his comb and looked over his reflection. It was still a little difficult for him to look at his reflection and not immediately see little things wrong with his appearance; especially now when he had to make an impression to so many Jendellian government officials. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, shaking out his nerves, and opened his eyes to look again. He smiled at himself—he looked good. It was good enough for him. It would be good enough for the rest.

He had been walking down the hallway to the dining hall alone for a while when he turned a corner and almost crashed into Ace. They both froze in time, then Ace laughed. “Glad I stopped; I would’ve ruined your outfit.”

“And we definitely can’t have that happen,” Starchild chuckled. “If I nearly ran into you… Does that mean I was going the wrong way?”

Laughing again, Ace nodded. “I think you were,”

“I haven’t been here in a while,” Starchild shrugged sheepishly. “Could we walk together?”

“Sure. Amalthea and Tomaziel are already there anyways.” He grinned at him. “Wouldn’t it be funny if we ended up being the only ones left to arrive?”

Giggling, Starchild shrugged again. “Then we’ll be fashionably late,”

They set off down the hallway, and after a moment of silence Ace spoke again. “So… How are you? How have you been?”

Starchild thought for a moment before answering. “I’ve been alright. And you?”

Ace smiled. “I have a daughter now,”

“That’s wonderful! What’s her name?”

“Her name is Monique.” He laughed lightly. “She almost threw a tantrum when she learned she wouldn’t get to see the KISSterians arrive today. She’s been talking about how excited she is to meet you and the Elder since she learned you were coming.”

Starchild chuckled. “I can’t wait to meet her,”

“Knowing her, she’ll find a way to sneak away from her governess and seek you out herself,”

“Well I shall await that moment with bated breath,”

Ace laughed. “And what about the band? Did you…” here he sobered. “Did you find a replacement for Fox?”

Starchild’s smile faded at the thought of Fox. The loss of one of his dear friends still pained him. “We did. Catman was the one who suggested him. Eryk, the Wildcat Apprentice.”

Ace raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Eryk?” He smiled. “That’s great; I always liked him. What about Bla—Heather? Is she still traveling around with you?”

Starchild’s head lowered sadly. “No… She left. She didn’t want to be a burden.”

Ace looked away sadly. “I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be. It was her decision, and I couldn’t have stopped her even if I tried… And I tried. I hope she finds the peace she deserves.”

“I… I’m sorry,” Ace laughed nervously, “I keep asking ya questions…”

Starchild shook his head, smiling. “It’s all right. You’ve missed a lot.”

“Okay… I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I heard…” he paused, “I heard you cut ties with Nikki Terror.”

Starchild’s smile faded, but he nodded. “Yes, I did. I reflected on everything, and I realized being with him was doing me more harm than good. I,” he shrugged, “I couldn’t even tell myself a good enough reason to stay, by the end. So I ended things.”

Ace nodded slowly. “Okay… And how have things been for you since?”

“Honestly?” He smiled again. “Things have been lovely. I’m trying to be a better person than I was before, and to be honest… I’m happier with myself than I was before.”

“I thought so,” Ace smiled at him. “I can see it. If you’re happy with the way you are, then I think what you’re doing is great.”

Starchild returned the smile. “Thank you,”

They finally approached the doors to the dining hall. Starchild heard voices through the doors and laughed. “It looks like we are the last to arrive,”

Ace laughed out loud. “Guess we’re gonna be fashionably late!”

He was about to request that the guards open the doors for them when Starchild suddenly stopped him. “Wait… There’s something I need to ask you.”

Ace turned to him. “Yeah?”

Starchild took a breath and went on. “I know the last time I was here… wasn’t the best of times. If it hurt you, the way I acted, I’m sorry. You’re clearly happy married to Amalthea, and I would never do anything to jeopardize your happiness, so…” he extended his hand with a nervous smile, “could we still be friends?”

There was a moment of silence where Ace looked down at his extended hand. Starchild’s heart thumped nervously as he waited for his response. Then a wide grin burst across Ace’s face and he took Starchild’s hand. “Of course we can still be friends. I still care about ya, Starchild, even if we aren’t together anymore.”

Starchild grinned happily and hugged Ace tightly. “I can’t tell you how much that means to me,”

When he pulled away, Ace grinned at him. “Well—c’mon, friend. Let’s go have dinner; I’m starving.”

Laughing, Starchild followed him the rest of the way down the hall. “Same here, friend,”

He entered the dining hall alongside Ace with a much brighter mood than when they arrived. His nerves were gone, and he was looking forward eagerly to the next three weeks. This was going to be a good trip—he was sure of it, now.


	2. The First Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the first of the many diplomatic meetings arrives, and Starchild receives support from an unexpected source.

The next morning, Starchild was strolling briskly down the hall from his bedroom to the meeting hall, ready to enter the first of many government meetings. His talk with Ace before dinner the previous night had left him with a lighter conscience, and with it came an eagerness to get started.

He turned the last corner and caught sight of a familiar figure casually pacing back and forth in front of the doors. He smiled. “Good morning, Tomaziel,”

Tomaziel jumped and looked up as Starchild headed towards him. Starchild gave a laugh. “I’m sorry, did I scare you?”

“Er… slightly.” He bowed. “Good morning, Prince Starchild. Did you sleep well?”

“I did, thank you. It’s funny; I thought I would be the first one here. Seems you beat me.”

Tomaziel smiled sheepishly and shrugged. “I enjoy waking up early anyways, your grace. It gives me time to think.”

“Oh, I agree. Lately, I’ve been trying to write a little every morning. I keep a diary.” He leaned forward and smiled conspiratorially at him. “But don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.”

The Jendellian chuckled. “Your secret is safe with me, Prince Starchild.” He suddenly sobered and looked at him regretfully. “I really do apologize for yesterday. Truly, I didn’t mean to shock you as I did.”

“Really, Tomaziel, there’s no need to apologize,” Starchild shook his head. “I understand completely. How long have you been training your lightning?”

“For a few years now. The King says I have a natural gift for it.”

“If Ace said it, then I believe it,” he smiled at the Jendellian. “But really, I do understand. Once…” he pretended to glance around warily, making Tomaziel smile slightly. “Once, when I was still learning how to control my Starbeams, I became so excited about something that they shot out and nearly hit Councilman Goliath right in the face.”

Tomaziel looked like he wanted to laugh but was holding it back. Starchild grinned and chuckled. “Go ahead and laugh, I don’t mind. It was mortifying back then, but it’s a funny story now.”

Finally, Tomaziel snorted and started to laugh. He muffled it behind his hand. “It is rather funny…”

“It’s very funny,” Starchild laughed. “But you see? I understand. There was no harm done, and no need to be so hard on yourself over a simple mistake.”

“I… I suppose you’re right.” Tomaziel gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you, your grace. That makes me feel much better.”

“I’m glad.” Glancing at the doors, Starchild jerked his head at them. “What say we go inside and wait for the others to arrive?”

“Are you certain we can do that?”

“I don’t think there is anything stopping us from doing that.” He grinned jokingly. “And if there is, you can feign ignorance and say you followed me inside.”

The two shared a laugh and headed for the doors.

* * *

Starchild knew the meetings that would take place over the next few weeks were important—in order to maintain the peaceful and prosperous alliance between KISSteria and the Celestials, the two realms had to be in agreement and in sync with each other. They were important and necessary, and he was happy to sit through them if it meant learning useful details for when he would have to host meetings like these himself one day.

… But he still couldn’t deny how tedious they were. The government official had been speaking for what seemed like ages, going on about trading between the two realms. He still tried to listen attentively—he couldn’t help but think about how, if his younger self were here, he would have been visibly bored. His chin would be in his hand, his fingers would be drumming the table, and his eyes would have been distant and far-off looking as he thought about anything other than what he was hearing. He couldn’t have that sort of attitude anymore, not if he wanted to be taken seriously. So he straightened his posture and listened.

“… but of course, if one were to place the access point solely in Jendell, it would fail to provide a safe route for poorer traders from Kendarr and the other moons.”

Starchild perked up at what the man said. Hadn’t he once read about something like the issue being presented? “Pardon me, Senator,” he said aloud. When the Senator turned his head, he went on. “What if we were to establish a single, central route that Kendarr and the moons could take to reach Jendell? That would eliminate the dangers of lesser-traveled, alternative routes.”

He thought it was a good idea… until the Senator gave him a slight frown. “That would indeed be beneficial, Prince Starchild. But the moons all already have well-protected, frequently traveled routes between them. There is no need to do away with them unless it was absolutely necessary, which it is not.”

Starchild stared at him for a moment, unsure how to respond. His cheeks grew slightly warm. “I see… Forgive me, Senator; I didn’t realize that. Thank you for correcting me. You may continue.”

The Senator nodded at him and went on, and though Starchild tried to listen, he kept thinking about his mistake. His eyes lowered to the table and embarrassment bubbled up. You shouldn’t have said that.

The meeting adjourned after another hour, and Starchild walked out of the meeting hall feeling considerably less cheerful than when it started. Would the Senators even listen to him when he gave his opinions after this? He was definitely going to make sure they were more informed before he gave them, but still…

No, he knew what was going to happen. He was overthinking, again, and eventually he would work himself up into an anxious mess and his mistake would stay on his mind the rest of the trip and he wouldn’t be able to participate properly. He had to distract himself.

As luck would have it, he turned his head and noticed Tomaziel and Ace over to one side, looking to be in a discussion. Ace nodded, and Tomaziel bowed and turned to walk out of the room. Starchild walked faster to follow him, and when he had left the meeting hall he called, “Tomaziel!” When Tomaziel turned around he flashed him a friendly smile. “Do you mind if I walk with you?”

Tomaziel blinked at him, perhaps in surprise. “Er… there are things I must attend to, your grace. But you are welcome to walk part of the way with me if you like.”

“I would like that.” As the two set off down the hallway, Starchild spoke again, hoping he could make some sort of conversation that would distract him from thinking about his mistake. “So, did you enjoy the meeting?”

“I tried my best to pay attention, as I realize how important these meetings are,”

Starchild grinned at that—he knew full well that was the respectful way of saying he had been bored for most of it. “How respectful of you. I found it rather interesting.”

“If I may, you seemed to know some things about trade routes,”

He shrugged modestly. “Well, I wouldn’t say I’m an expert by any means. I just happened to read a book about trade routes once. That’s all.” And he couldn’t help what he said next. “Though given what happened, perhaps I should have paid more attention when I was reading it.”

“I—I beg your pardon, but what do you mean?”

“W-Well, when the Senator was talking about the trade routes, and I interrupted him, and ended up giving an uninformed suggestion.” His hand drifted to fiddle and pull at his finger on his other hand. “I spoke too quickly… I will have to remember to not do that…”

“May I say something?” Tomaziel ventured. When he glanced at him, he continued. “I remember once King Ace did the same thing. He spoke up to give a suggestion too soon and was scolded for it. But the best thing one can do is apologize and thank the person for correcting them. And you did just that. It showed you realized your mistake and acknowledged his correction.”

Starchild considered what he said. “That is true… I hope he doesn’t base his impression of me off one mistake.”

“I don’t believe he will,” Tomaziel replied. “After you thanked him and we continued, he seemed to forget about it.”

That sounded incredibly reassuring. Starchild blew out a breath and let go of his finger, then smiled gratefully at Tomaziel. “Thank you, Tomaziel. I am trying not to overthink as much as I used to, but it was nice to speak about it. Thank you for listening.”

“You’re welcome,” Tomaziel smiled back. “We all overthink sometimes. I know I have before… If you’ll pardon me, I should go now.”

“Oh, of course,”

Tomaziel gave him a respectful nod. “I will see you later, Prince Starchild,”

Smiling, Starchild gave him a nod of his own. “I look forward to it, Tomaziel,”

He watched the Jendellian leave, then turned to head off himself. He couldn’t help thinking along the way how nice it was of Tomaziel to let him talk through his anxiety.

* * *

Tomaziel was willing to be honest with himself—he thought Prince Starchild was handsome. He had overheard some noblewomen of the court as he went off to make sure everything would be ready for dinner that evening, and his ears had perked up when he heard the Star Prince’s name be mentioned. But all they did was giggle about how handsome, confident, and charismatic he was. And Tomaziel was inclined to agree.

But even so, him thinking Prince Starchild was handsome meant very little. Just because he thought someone was handsome didn’t mean he was going to do anything about it. There was a difference between being attracted to someone and simply thinking they were good-looking. And Tomaziel wasn’t attracted to Prince Starchild. Besides, Prince Starchild had better things to do than entertain a simple aide to the King.


	3. In the Garden Dome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Starchild and Tomaziel become closer friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone had a good Christmas, and that you all were rational people and wore mask and took precautions before doing traveling of any kind!

The next couple of days passed in a similar way. They were full of meetings that seemed to last for hours and were filled with Celestial Senators and KISSterian Councilmen alike engaged in speeches and deals and debates and compromises. Starchild did his best to pay attention and contribute whenever possible, though he did make sure to be open to correction when giving his opinion about something. But he found the more optimistic he was about things going well, the more likely he left a meeting feeling it did go well.

Apart from the meetings, he also had lunch with Ace, in which they caught up with each other, reminisced, and laughed for what ended up being hours. It felt wonderful to be forming a friendship with Ace after so many years of heartbreak and complicated emotions. He could start over again, this time as friends. Perhaps they should have been friends from the beginning, but what’s done was done and Starchild didn’t want to focus on the past. He let himself enjoy the easy conversation, the banter, and the jokes and came away from it much happier. He was noticing being here on Jendell was doing him better than he thought—although the little Princess Monique still hadn’t seemed to find a way to escape her nannies.

Another thing he was noticing was a budding friendship between him and Tomaziel. He somehow always ended up encountering him, whether it be through meeting him in the hallway or simply seeing him in the same room. When he couldn’t be spared to talk to him, which happened often, Starchild tried to give him a smile and friendly wave. The wave was often returned, but much more respectfully—a very Tomaziel thing to do. He was incredibly respectful, always being careful with his words and addressing him as “Prince Starchild” or “your grace”.

For whatever reason, Starchild increasingly began to wonder if he could get the man to stop doing that. If they were going to be friends, there was no need to be so formal.

As luck would have it, he would get the chance. On the fourth day of the visit, he found himself with an unusual amount of free time after being informed his presence wouldn’t be required at the meetings taking place that day. So, left with nothing else to do, he decided to take his sketchbook and go to the Garden Dome to see what flowers he could draw. He scanned the massive dome for a patch of flowers to sketch, when he suddenly noticed a cluster of flowers off to one side and felt compelled to get a closer look at them.

It was a cluster of dahlias, red ones in full bloom. Starchild found himself both glad and disappointed that they weren’t black dahlias. A wry smile crossed his face and he laughed to himself before sitting down and opening his sketchbook. He turned to a blank page—he would have to get a new one soon, this one was almost full—took his pencil out from behind his ear, and went to work.

His hand traveled almost robotically over the paper as he drew, eyes constantly flicking up and back down again. When he began to draw again, he would work himself up into a fit of frustration and impatience with how long he was taking and how unskilled and horrible his drawings looked. It had taken a few months of re-training himself to focus, but now he could do it without a second thought. It felt good to draw, felt good to create pictures and images. And it felt good to do something he enjoyed.

Starchild was so engrossed in his sketching that he didn’t even hear the footsteps behind him… until a stick snapped. He jumped, accidentally causing his pencil to slash across the paper, and took a second to compose himself before turning around.

A smile crossed his face. “Oh. Hello, Tomaziel,”

For there was the aide himself, standing frozen in place and looking rather panicked while a dry stick sat broken under his boot. It must have fallen from one of the trees onto the path. “I’m—I’m so sorry, your grace,” he apologized. His face was flushing blue. “I didn’t mean to disturb you—”

“It’s fine,” Starchild waved him off. “We seem to keep running into each other anyway. What brings you here?”

“I… I take walks here sometimes, your grace. The King gave me permission to be in here.” Tomaziel’s eyes fell on Starchild’s sketchbook. “Forgive me for prying, your grace, but… were you sketching?”

“You’re not prying. But yes, I was. Would you like to join me?” When he saw the look of hesitation, he patted the ground beside him. “You wouldn’t be bothering me. And if you lose track of the time, I’ll say I invited you to join me.”

After another moment of hesitation, Tomaziel stepped off the path and lowered himself to sit down next to him. They ended up being so close their knees were nearly touching. Starchild smiled. “There, see? We keep running into each other, so we might as well get to know each other.”

“I… I suppose so, Prince Starchild,”

“Starchild,”

Tomaziel looked at him confusedly. “What?”

“Just say Starchild,” he clarified. “There’s no need for the ‘Prince’ part. If we’re going to be friends, we can drop any formality around each other.”

Tomaziel blinked at him, still a little confused. “Friends, your—Starchild?”

Starchild smiled slightly, then shrugged. “Like I said, we keep running into each other. If it’s going to keep happening, we might as well become friends.” There was a pause, then he quickly added, “If you want that, anyway.”

“… I would like that,” Tomaziel offered a hesitant smile, “Starchild.”

Smiling wider, Starchild nodded. “Alright, then.” He looked back down at his drawing and frowned slightly when he saw the slash through the flowers. He sighed and went to work erasing it.

“If you don’t mind my asking,” he glanced up to find Tomaziel looking curiously at the dahlias, “what kind of flowers are these?”

“They’re dahlias,” he replied as he fixed his sketch. “Ace must have brought them back from Earth.”

“They’re beautiful,”

Starchild smiled. “They are, aren’t they?”

“Do you like dahlias?”

“I do, but it’s for more… personal reasons,”

He waited for the inevitable question of what the reason was… but instead Tomaziel simply nodded and went back to looking at the flowers. Starchild blinked for a second, then shrugged and went back to drawing.

After a while of the two of them sitting there in silence, Tomaziel spoke again. “I didn’t know you liked to draw, yo… Starchild.”

“I do,” Starchild replied, rubbing his pencil over the dahlias to add shading. “Ever since I was younger.” He smiled slightly at the memory. “I drew a picture of the roses in the garden one day and immediately went to show the Elder. It wasn’t even that good a drawing, but I was still so proud of it. The very next day she asked if I wanted to have a tutor give me art lessons.”

He decided to leave out the part about the whole reason he started drawing the picture in the first place was because he had been sitting alone in the gardens, forced to play by himself. But Tomaziel didn’t need to know that.

“And did you have art lessons?”

“I did, and I loved them,”

“If you don’t mind me saying, you’re very good,”

He smiled. “Thank you,”

“What else do you draw?”

“Well…” Starchild raised his head to think for a moment. “Almost anything. I like to draw flowers, but I sometimes will draw animals, other wildlife, buildings, daily life scenes…”

“Can you draw people?”

“Of course. I could draw you.” He gave Tomaziel a cheeky grin. “I could draw you however you wanted.”

Tomaziel stuttered for a few seconds, and his face turned a shade of blue. Starchild laughed. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” He grinned again. “Unless you want me to, of course.”

“I-I… I don’t…”

Starchild threw back his head and laughed, then reached out to pat his shoulder. “Really, I’m just kidding. I’ll stop now, I promise.”

A small smile made its way onto Tomaziel’s face. “F-For a moment, I thought you were serious,”

“No, I’m not,” Starchild giggled. “I would never do that to you.”

The aide gave a small laugh. “Alright… Do you paint?”

“You know, I did learn how to do that. But I haven’t painted in years, now. I’m not sure I would be any good at it.”

“I learned how to paint when I was younger,”

“Really? Who taught you?”

“The school I attended as a child gave art lessons. I liked them, but like you, it’s been years since I painted anything.”

“Perhaps we can help each other relearn,”

Tomaziel chuckled. “We could do that,”

It was then that Starchild glanced down at his sketch and realized with a jolt—it was finished. There on the paper was a pencil sketch of the clusters of red dahlias, almost perfectly recreated. At some point while he was talking to Tomaziel he had finished and hadn’t even noticed.

He held up his sketchbook, admiring it for a second, then showed it to Tomaziel. “What do you think?”

Tomaziel looked at the sketch and smiled. “It’s beautiful. Really, it is. You’re very good.”

For some reason, Starchild felt his cheeks heat up just a little as he smiled back. “Thank you.” He lowered the sketchbook and flipped to a new page. “What should I draw next?”

“Oh…” Tomaziel looked around the Garden Dome to find something to suggest, then turned back to him. “You could draw me, if you like.”

Starchild tilted his head in thought. “Actually… that would be perfect. Here.” He moved back, away from Tomaziel, and pointed. “Move over so you’re right next to the dahlias and turn your head.”

“Like this?” Tomaziel moved closer to the flowers and turned his head slightly.

“No, turn it more. So that you look like you’re observing the dahlias.”

“Oh.” His head turned so he was looking right at them. “Like this?”

“Yes, that’s perfect. Now hold still.”

As he picked up his sketchbook and prepared to start drawing, he heard a laugh and looked up to find Tomaziel smiling at the dahlias and chuckling. “What’s so funny?”

“O-Oh, nothing. I just…” he turned to smile at Starchild. “I thought you said you could draw me however I wanted.”

Starchild blinked at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. “I did!”

Tomaziel laughed out loud along with him, and somewhere in his mind Starchild remarked that he had never heard him laugh unrestrainedly before. He either laughed quietly or hid it behind his hand.

“Okay,” Starchild laughed as they calmed. “Alright. Now really, hold still.”

Tomaziel gave one more laugh before turning his head again. Starchild began to draw, starting with his subject’s head. He couldn’t help but feel secretly happy that he got the opportunity to scrutinize Tomaziel’s face, even if it was just the side. If he was being completely honest with himself, Tomaziel was rather good-looking. “Suggesting I draw you was a good idea,” he said aloud. “You have a good face for it.”

He smiled when he saw Tomaziel’s face flush a light blue. “Thank you… You meant that in an artistic way, didn’t you?”

His smile widened. “Of course I did. It’s going to be fun drawing your face.”

The two of them sat in relative silence, occasionally asking each other casual questions. But oddly, Starchild didn’t feel a gnawing urge to say something else.

In fact, he couldn’t help but marvel at how at ease he felt at that very moment. Why was that? Could it be because he was with a friend? He always felt at ease and like he could be himself around his friends. Yes, that had to be it. Tomaziel had agreed they could be friends, after all.

It seemed like little time had passed, but finally Starchild was looking at a completed sketch of Tomaziel looking at the bush of red dahlias. He had even done a little more and added in the background of the Garden Dome. He smiled at the sketch proudly before turning it around and showing it to Tomaziel. “All finished. What do you think?”

Tomaziel looked at the sketch. And a look of slight awe appeared on his face. “This is amazing.” He gave Starchild a smile. “I love it. In fact…” His eyes glanced away. “Could I perhaps keep it? If you don’t mind, that is.”

“No, I don’t mind.” Starchild signed his name at the bottom of the sketch with a flourish, then carefully tore the page out of the sketchbook. “There. I even autographed it for you.”

He handed it to Tomaziel, who took it and looked down at the drawing with a smile. “Thank you. Really, I think it looks amazing.”

Starchild smiled back, giving no thought to how good it felt knowing Tomaziel liked it. “I’m glad you like it. I think we’re going to be very good friends.”

“I think so too,”


	4. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which unpleasant memories are forced to mind, and Starchild either a huge mistake, or a huge leap forward.

The days went on, and soon it had been a full week since the KISSterians arrived on Jendell. Starchild spent most of his time in meetings when his presence was required, and when he wasn’t in meetings he went off by himself to read or draw, or spending time with Ace, Amalthea, his mother, or Tomaziel.

Though with Tomaziel he could never spend as much time with him as he wanted. Being the aide to the King meant Tomaziel was off performing duties and taking care of things when he wasn’t sitting in on the meetings, and so they weren’t able to interact very much. But whenever they did find time to interact, Starchild found he greatly enjoyed it. The Jendellian had a surprisingly good knowledge of politics, which lead to them having often long discussions about the meetings taking place and what they meant for the future of the alliance between KISSteria and Jendell.

Apart from that, Starchild also noted how Tomaziel never minded when he began to passionately ramble about something. Instead, he listened, even contributing when he could. The first time it happened, Starchild stopped in the middle of his spiel when he realized Tomaziel was probably bored and laughed awkwardly. “I’m sorry,” he felt his face flushing, “you probably are bored by what I’m saying…”

But Tomaziel only shook his head. “No, not at all. Keep going; you have me interested.”

The fact that he didn’t mind contributed to the easy feeling Starchild felt when he was with Tomaziel. He just couldn’t help but feel incredibly comfortable around him, and like he could tell him anything. He sincerely hoped Tomaziel felt the same.

Starchild sighed as he realized his thoughts had drifted yet again. He couldn’t do that… especially not now.

He was sitting in the meeting hall and watching with dread as he watched a debate slowly spiral out of control. Senators and Councilmen were firing back at one another, each side growing angrier the longer it was drawn out. Starchild couldn’t even begin to summarize to himself how it had begun, because frankly he wasn’t even sure of that himself—all he knew was that one moment they had all been sitting and listening to Councilwoman Payne present her points for consideration, and suddenly there was a heated debate happening. The Elder was sitting and watching with a fairly neutral look, but he knew it was only a matter of time before she stood to dispel everything.

He sighed and turned to Ace, who was watching the debate with a similar look of dread. “How did this happen, again?” he asked quietly.

Ace shrugged. “I’m not sure,” he muttered back. “I think it was because Councilwoman Payne said something Senator Balem took issue with?” He sighed. “It’s always Senator Balem… I can’t even use the word “outraged” now because he took all the impact out of it.”

Starchild chuckled. “At least they aren’t shouting at each other.” His mind couldn’t help adding on, Yet…

“Yeah, that’s good, at least. Oh, speaking of good things.” Ace leaned over to him, smiling. “You remember how I said Monique wanted to meet you?”

“How could I forget when I’ve been waiting for her to find me all week?” It was true; whenever he had the chance, he made sure he was in obvious places—the Garden Dome, the library, etc—so Monique would have an easier time trying to find him.

“Well, I had a talk with her governesses—turns out she kept trying to sneak away all week but kept getting caught. So we came to a little agreement: if Monique stays on her best behavior all day today, she can join me, Amalthea, you and the Elder for lunch tomorrow.”

Starchild smiled. “That sounds great. I can’t wait to finally meet her.”

“Oh, neither can she,” Ace chuckled. “Just wait; when she sees you, she’ll be starstruck.”

“Pun intended?”

“Pun intended.”

They both laughed… and that was the only little reprieve they got before a sudden shout made them look up. The Senators and Councilmen were now on their feet, and a man with slicked back dark hair and a pale face was shouting at Councilwoman Payne. “Your words are filthy lies and absolute slander!” 

Ace sat forward. “Senator Balem, there is no need to accuse Councilwoman Payne of slander,” he said, in a voice that was calm yet stern.

“I am sure Councilwoman Payne did not intend to do so,” Starchild added. He turned to Councilwoman Payne. “Did you, Councilwoman Payne?”

“I promise you, my Prince, I did not,” Councilwoman Payne insisted. She glared at Senator Balem. “It’s him who’s accusing me of such things!”

“That is a _lie_!” Starchild actually jumped at how loud Senator Balem’s voice became. “This woman _slanders_ the good name of Jendell, and I am _outraged_ she would do so!”

Councilwoman Payne’s glare turned deadly, and Starchild quickly stood up to give Senator Balem a warning look. “Senator, that’s quite enough. I will not have you throw baseless accusations at a member of my Council. If we could all calm ourselves and return to—”

“How dare you call it _your_ Council, boy!” Senator Balem suddenly rounded on him, face blue with rage. “As if you run it! You aren’t fit to run it!”

Ace stood up, frowning. “Senator Balem—”

The Senator ignored him and continued shouting. “All you are is a spoiled, puffed-up prince who cares more about a trivial _music group_ than serving his realm! Your façade has fooled no one from the moment you displayed your ignorance at the simplest of matters! You may be grown, but you are nothing more than a _CHILD_!”

Starchild had at one point opened his mouth to defend himself, but as Senator Balem continued his raving, he was reduced to staring dumbly at him. But the last few words he screamed at him… he might as well have punched Starchild in the face.

_“Enough!”_

Everyone froze as the room suddenly went dark. The lights dimmed, and a powerful gust of wind whipped through, even though there were no windows. The Elder had risen to her feet and was holding her staff out in front of her, her markings glowing a dangerous purple.

_“This meeting has descended into madness!”_ Her voice boomed around the room. _“Such anger-fueled debates do nothing to strengthen this alliance! We shall reconvene after a twenty-minute recess so that everyone may calm themselves,”_ here she glared directly at Senator Balem, who to his credit had been shocked speechless, _“and after which Senator Balem shall apologize for his childish behavior and insults to the Prince of KISSteria!”_

Then she pulled back her staff, and the purple of her markings began to fade. The wind died down, and the lights turned bright again. But before anyone could say anything, the Elder looked around at them all with a look that dared any of them to argue. “Twenty minutes,” she repeated. Then with a sweep of her cloak, she turned on her heel and left out the door.

The Senators and Councilmen quickly dispersed amongst themselves, talking in shock about what had just occurred. Starchild stood frozen, his head bowed and his fists clenched. His mind kept repeating the words Senator Balem had hurled at him.

Ace reached out to nudge his shoulder in concern. “Starchild?”

Without a word, Starchild turned and walked quickly out the door. He couldn’t stay in this room; he had to get out of here.

_Unfit. Spoiled. Puffed-up. Ignorant. Child._

_You are a child._

* * *

He finally found a bench far enough away from the meeting hall and sat down heavily. He sat back against the wall and looked down at the floor.

This was ridiculous. He’d come too far to have his confidence shattered by a few simple words. That wasn’t growth or improvement—it felt more like regression. He couldn’t regress, not after so many years of trying.

But not everyone had _seen_ those years of trying. To everyone outside his Inner Circle, Senator Balem was probably right—he probably looked like he had abandoned his realm in favor of going to Earth. No matter how many years he had spent trying to improve himself, everyone probably still saw the impulsive, naïve, idealistic person he’d been before.

Starchild sighed frustratedly. He hadn’t even defended himself. When would he be able to defend himself against people like that?

“Is everything all right?”

Starchild closed his eyes at the voice. He couldn’t… not right now. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, he just… he couldn’t. Not when he had practically fled the meeting hall in embarrassment.

And yet he opened his eyes and turned his head anyway. There was Tomaziel, standing there and looking at him in concern.

“No,” his voice came out quiet. “No, everything is not all right.”

Tomaziel sat down beside him. “I’m so sorry that happened,”

“You don’t have to apologize, Tomaziel,”

“I feel as if I do. Senator Balem has a habit of screaming nonsense when he works himself up into a rage.” If only it was just nonsense. “I’m sorry his words were so hurtful.”

“They’re the truth,”

Tomaziel blinked and frowned at Starchild’s quiet words. “What do you mean?”

Starchild’s eyes turned down to the floor again. “What he said… they’re the truth… partially. What he described is everything I don’t want to be anymore.” His fingers dug into his arms as he hugged himself. “Do you remember how I told you about that one day, when I was a child, and how I drew a picture of the roses in the gardens?”

Tomaziel nodded. “Yes,”

“The whole reason I did it was because…” he suddenly trailed off as he realized what was happening. He was about to tell Tomaziel, a person he had only interacted with for a week, everything. He couldn’t do that. He couldn’t put a burden like that on a friend. Even if he did feel like he could tell him, he didn’t know how Tomaziel would react.

But then Tomaziel leaned closer. “Starchild?”

Starchild had to close his eyes again. Why did he like hearing his own name coming from Tomaziel’s mouth?

There was no going back now. So he swallowed and continued. “It was because I was all alone. No one to talk to, no friends to play with… Sometimes I wished I had a brother, or something, just so I wouldn’t have to be so alone. And then… then I grew up into everything Senator Balem described. I was emotional, and idealistic, and… and so naïve. I made decisions before I thought them through. I never listened to anyone. And I did leave my realm, so I could go to Earth with my friends and form KISS.” Here he briefly looked up at Tomaziel, hoping and praying he would understand. “I’m trying to be better. I’m trying so hard…” Oh Gods, was he going to cry? “I don’t want to be that person anymore. I don’t want to be someone who doesn’t love himself, o-or even respect himself, enough that he knew he wasn’t happy being with the person he was with anymore but stayed anyway. I’m still trying so hard to be better, and where I am now, I’m so much happier than I was before. But to have it all thrown in my face that people still think I’m that person…” He closed his eyes and looked down. He couldn’t cry. Not in front of Tomaziel.

“Starchild…” he glanced up and found Tomaziel looking at him… incredibly gently. “I don’t think you are that person anymore. No one does. Senator Balem, he’s… he’s everything you don’t want to be, but he’s worse. He lives in his own little bubble, where everyone thinks the same way as him. But he’s the only one who thinks the way he does. Everyone else can see you are no longer that person.”

Starchild fully turned his head to look up at him. “You really think so?”

Tomaziel nodded sincerely. “I do. It’s an admirable thing to want to change and grow as an individual. And I’ve heard the acknowledgement of faults starts one on the path to mending them. And really…” Starchild suddenly became aware of how close their hands were on the bench. His heart began to beat a little faster. “I think accepting oneself is incredibly brave.”

For a moment, Starchild couldn’t speak. “… Do you mean that?” Why had his voice gone quiet again?

Tomaziel gave another sincere nod. “I do,”

After another moment, Starchild hesitantly smiled. “Thank you, Tomaziel. Really… That means a lot to me.”

Smiling back, Tomaziel replied, “Of course. I saw you leave the room and… I wanted to make sure you were all right.”

Sitting up, Starchild took a deep breath and blew it out. “I think I will be now.” He gave Tomaziel a grateful look. “Thank you for coming after me.”

“You’re welcome.” They both stood up. “Are you all right to go back? I think the twenty minutes the Elder dictated are almost up.”

“… Yes, I am.” He pushed the thought of _As long as it’s with you_ out of his head and smiled jokingly. “Even if I wasn’t, we should still probably get back. The Elder would be cross with us if we were late. Besides, Senator Balem is supposed to apologize and I would like to see that.”

Tomaziel chuckled as they set off down the hallway. “So do I. Senator Balem has hardly ever apologized unless the King orders him to.”

Starchild gave a laugh. “How is he even a Senator?”

The aide could only give a shrug. “Despite his anger problems, he does have a very good head for inter-realm trade.”

“Such is the way with politics,”

“It seems that way,”

They looked at each other, then smiled and began to laugh again.

* * *

The meeting reconvened and Senator Balem did indeed apologize for his disrespectful behavior, to both Starchild and Councilwoman Payne. No doubt Ace had reprimanded him as well. Either way, Senator Balem looked properly scolded, and after the two accepted his apology the meeting continued with no other incidents.

That night, when Starchild turned out his lights and got into bed, he let his hand drift down under his blanket. After a whole week of so many meetings and so many people with only chunks of the days to himself, he needed some form of relief.

Starchild threw back his head and moaned in pleasure as he worked himself over. It had been odd and awkward at first to pleasure himself. But he was used to it now, very used to it. And he knew what to do to make it feel good, and how to be good to himself.

_“It ain’t a crime to be good to yourself!”_ flashed in his head and he let out a laugh into the darkness of his room. The words were true.

His pleasure rose higher and his hand moved faster. Closer and closer… And suddenly images flashed in his head—images of a man with dark hair and a white face with silver markings and brown eyes—oh, what beautiful eyes—lit up in a fire of pleasure. His dark hair fell beautifully around his face as he threw back his head in a cry of ecstasy.

And then Starchild tumbled into his climax. He groaned happily and relaxed into the sheets, stretching out in bliss. This was exactly what he needed. And as he floated in his sweet haze his mind just barely caught him moaning out a name.

“Tomaziel…”


	5. The Spark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Starchild stresses about the previous night, and Amalthea provides information that does not help at all... or does it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you guys will recall, in the second chapter of Chance Meeting, Starchild felt a static shock when Ace touched his hand. Well Shandi and I decided to expand on that a little bit ;) Enjoy!

When morning came and Starchild opened his eyes, the first thing he recalled from last night was…

_“Tomaziel…”_

Starchild went still and stared at the wall in absolute horror. Oh Gods… what had he done?

He rolled over onto his back and dragged his hand over his eyes, groaning. He couldn’t believe he had done that. He couldn’t believe he had moaned out Tomaziel’s name.

Even if… Even if the memory of hearing it on his tongue made his heart beat a little faster in his chest, because in that moment it had felt so incredibly right to say it out loud.

No! No, he couldn’t. He couldn’t do this again—fall in love with someone and ultimately get his heart broken. First it was Nikki, then it was Ace, then it was Nikki again… He couldn’t fall in love with Tomaziel, just to get his heart broken when he inevitably learned Tomaziel didn’t feel the same way about him.

Or was he even in love? Maybe it was just a lust attraction. If he was being honest with himself, Tomaziel was handsome. He obviously spent time grooming himself, and it showed; he couldn’t help liking that about him. But maybe he was simply attracted to how handsome Tomaziel was, not Tomaziel himself.

He winced. That actually sounded worse… If it really was that, he couldn’t ever tell him. He didn’t want to be the one that broke a heart, especially if it was Tomaziel’s. Tomaziel was too kind, too patient, too empathetic to deserve that.

And anyway, if he was for a moment to pretend that maybe it wasn’t a lust attraction and that he really did like Tomaziel himself… Tomaziel couldn’t possibly feel the same way.

… Or could he?

Suddenly Starchild thought back to the day he arrived. When he held out his hand for Tomaziel to shake. When Tomaziel had touched his hand and accidentally shocked him. But hadn’t he said it was because he was still learning how to control his lightning?

And yet at the same time, a memory resurfaced, of years and years ago at the party where he met Ace for the first time. When their hands touched, and he felt the same kind of electric shock.

_“Don’t you worry your curly little head about that, Starshine. It’s a good thing on Jendell… trust me.”_

What did that mean?

* * *

For the first time the entire week, Starchild was incredibly distracted the entire meeting. He stared off into space, trying to think and figure things out. What could the electric shock mean? It wasn’t a painful shock; more of what happened when someone rubbed their feet on a carpet and then touched you.

Thinking about what had happened when Tomaziel touched his hand made his hand tingle at the memory. It felt so pleasant…

But what was he supposed to do? How could he tell Tomaziel, when Tomaziel probably only saw him as a friend. Did he even want to be with Tomaziel in a romantic way, or was he simply attracted to him because of his looks? And no matter what the answer, there was no way it would go anywhere—he had two more weeks before returning home, and both he and Tomaziel would be busy for most of the days.

He suddenly felt an elbow nudge him and glanced up. Ace looked at him in slight concern and discreetly pushed a piece of paper at him. Starchild looked down and found Ace had written on it. _Everything okay?_

He picked up his pencil and wrote back. _Yes, I’m fine. Is Monique joining us for lunch today?_

Ace smiled. _She was on her best behavior all day yesterday, so yes, she is._

_I can’t wait to meet her._

_Neither can she._

It seemed like hours, but finally the meeting ended. Ace and Starchild immediately stood up, as did Tomaziel, who was sitting on Ace’s other side. “Shall I go begin the preparations now, my King?” he asked.

Starchild had to turn away and pretend he was looking with interest at the lights hanging from the ceiling. Ace paid him no attention. “Yes, that would be good, Tomaziel.”

“Preparations for what?” Starchild asked as they headed out of the meeting hall.

“For the party at the end of the three weeks you’re here,” Ace explained. “It’s to give a nice send-off to the KISSterians.”

Starchild smiled; he did like the sound of that. “That sounds fun,”

“Well, I hope it will be,” Ace chuckled. “But enough about that. Lunchtime!”

* * *

When they arrived in the smaller dining room, set for the two of them, the Elder, and Amalthea, they found the Elder and Amalthea already there. Sitting with Amalthea was a little girl who… actually, who looked like a spitting image of Ace. “—when will they be here?” she was groaning impatiently to Amalthea.

“Right now,” Ace said aloud, grinning at the sight of the girl.

The girl whipped her head around and immediately lit up. “Father!” She got up to run to Ace as he knelt down to her height. 

Laughing, Ace hugged her, then tapped her nose. “Were you a good girl all morning, Moni?”

“Yes, Father!” she nodded her head and smiled proudly, perhaps proud of herself.

“Good, because there’s someone who wants to meet you.” Ace turned her to gesture up to Starchild. “Monique, I’d like you to meet Prince Starchild,”

Just as Ace had said yesterday, Monique looked up at him in awe. Smiling, Starchild went down on one knee and offered his hand to her. “Hello, Monique. I’ve been waiting all week to meet you.”

“Really?” Monique asked, blinking in surprise.

“Yes, really. Your father’s told me a lot about you.”

Monique smiled and took his hand to shake. “It’s nice to meet you, Prince Starchild,”

“Oh, please, just Starchild is fine.”

“Really?” Monique looked starstruck, and it made Starchild smile even more.

“Yes, really.”

Monique smiled so wide he thought it would split her face in two. “Can we sit together while we eat?”

“As long as your parents don’t mind,”

To his amusement, Monique scoffed. “They won’t mind. Come on!” She grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the table.

Starchild laughed and started walking. “Lead the way, Princess,”

He spent most of lunch talking with Monique—or, rather, him answering all the questions the little princess was firing off at him. She wanted to know everything about KISSteria, his life, what it was like being a Prince, what it was like being in a band on Earth, if she had meant anyone cool, and so forth and so forth and so forth.

It was easy to distract himself from what had been plaguing his thoughts all morning. All he could think about was that shock. Was he just overthinking it? Was it really just Tomaziel’s powers briefly losing control? And how “good” exactly was the shock?

When lunch was over, Ace volunteered to take Monique back to her room. “Alright, c’mon, you little troublemaker!” he lifted her up off the ground.

Monique giggled and gave him an innocent look. “I’m not a troublemaker, Papa!”

“Yeah, I’m sure,”

Starchild smiled at them. Then he noticed Amalthea getting up to leave. “Amalthea,” he said quickly, standing. “Could I speak to you for a moment?”

Amalthea looked surprised but nodded. “What about?”

“Nothing,” Starchild turned to smirk at Ace. “I just wanted to know how much of a pain in the neck it is to be married to Ace.”

“Hey!” Ace protested. “I’m not that bad, am I?” He looked at Amalthea, who pretended to be engrossed at looking up at the sky. “Amalthea!”

Amalthea laughed. “I’m only kidding, dear,”

“I’m being ganged up on!” Ace proclaimed dramatically. “Monique, you still love me, right?”

Monique hugged his neck. “I still love you, Father,”

“Hah, see? Moni still loves me!”

Once they had walked off, as had the Elder, Amalthea turned to Starchild. “Now, what did you wish to speak about? I get the feeling it isn’t about Ace.”

Starchild shook his head. “No… Well, actually, he does have something to do with it. When…” How was he going to phrase it? “When Ace touches your hand, do you ever feel a… an electric shock?”

Luckily, Amalthea understood immediately. “Oh, you mean the Spark?”

“The Spark?”

“Yes, that is what we call it. Yes, I do. Truth be told, it… it took some time. Nothing happened when we were first married, because we hardly knew each other. But as we spent more time together, one day…” Amalthea seemed to be smiling at the memory. “One day, it happened.”

Starchild nodded. “All right. But… what does it mean?”

“Well, when we Jendellians are… attracted, you might say, to someone, more static electricity builds up in their bodies. And when they are close to that person, the one they are attracted to, the electricity discharges. Often if they touch the person, it can feel like a static shock.”

Starchild’s heart began to nervously beat faster. “Oh… I see…”

“Why do you ask?”

He immediately panicked. What was he supposed to say? _“Oh, no reason, just panicking that your aide might have given me a static shock that was actually the Spark all along, nothing major,”_? “… I saw a mention of the Spark in a book and wanted to know what it was,”

“Did the book not explain?”

“No, it didn’t,”

“Ah, I see. It is not as common in KISSteria, I imagine.”

“No… No, it isn’t. Thank you, Amalthea.”

Amalthea smiled and nodded, and he wished he could be as happy as she was. “You’re quite welcome.” She gathered up her skirts. “Now, if you will excuse me, I must go see where my husband and daughter went off to.”

A laugh burst out. “No doubt they’re causing trouble,”

“No doubt. She takes after him far too much.”

“Oh, I could tell,”

As soon as she walked off, Starchild turned around and tried to think of what to do. He couldn’t believe what he had been told. Was Tomaziel attracted to him? Was there even a possibility of it? Or had it just been an accident? He wasn’t sure which was worse…

_You need to tell him,_ his mind said aloud. But what if Tomaziel took it the wrong way? What if it wasn’t the Spark and he was overthinking things? _You still need to tell him. At the very least, tell him you might be falling for him. There’s no need to tell him you moaned out his name last night._

There was still a large part of Starchild that didn’t want to tell Tomaziel anything at all. He wanted to keep his mouth shut and not say anything, so he wouldn’t ruin whatever friendship he had formed with the man. He actually valued his and Tomaziel’s friendship; he liked having a friend who he could talk about anything with. He liked having a friend who knew he used to be someone he probably wouldn’t have liked, but didn’t care. He liked Tomaziel… as a friend.

“Tomaziel…”

Or did he?

Starchild rubbed his temples, groaning helplessly. This wasn’t getting him anywhere. He needed to go hit something. Wasn’t there a training hall somewhere?

After a brief period of wandering aimlessly, he got directions and made a beeline down the hall. Perhaps some time in the training hall would let him take his mind off things. Who knew, perhaps he would even be able to think more clearly after working out? He could hear the sounds of crackling electricity as he got closer; someone was already in there. But it wasn’t until he opened the doors and walked inside that he saw who it was, and he froze and stared.

Because once again, fate had decided to make him encounter Tomaziel.


	6. The Training Hall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Starchild learns something Tomaziel has been hiding from him...

Starchild had to stop and stare at Tomaziel as he moved through a training course. Lightning crackled all around his hands and his body had a faint blue glow. His movements were practiced, yet Starchild could tell he was throwing himself wholeheartedly into it. He threw and directed his lightning, knocking down targets one after the other. He was moving his whole body, dodging and twisting and jumping.

For some reason, Starchild just couldn’t stop _staring_. He was dumbfounded, watching him almost in awe. He had never seen Tomaziel fight before; he didn’t seem the type to even like fighting. Perhaps learning combat was part of how he was learning to control his lightning. But he looked… and Starchild couldn’t believe he was thinking this… he looked incredibly attractive. The way his black hair whipped around his face, which was drawn into a look of intense concentration, and the way his body bent and moved was the most captivating thing Starchild had ever seen.

Suddenly he wondered what it would be like to kiss Tomaziel, to press his lips to Tomaziel’s black ones. Would they be soft? They looked soft. How good would the kiss be? Had Tomaziel ever kissed anyone before?

There was a crack of lightning and Starchild suddenly realized a lightning bolt was flying straight at him. He yelped and jumped out of the way, just in time for it to pass him and hit the wall.

“Oh no!” came a panicked shout, and he turned to see Tomaziel looking at him with a mortified look. “I’m so sorry, I had no idea you were there. I just—”

The moment suddenly struck Starchild as wildly funny, and he smiled and began to laugh. He looked up at the considerable burn mark on the wall. “Could you imagine what would have happened if that hit me?” he guffawed, gesturing to the burn mark. “It would have singed all my hair off!”

Tomaziel looked incredibly confused. “Why are you laughing when I almost hit you?”

“I don’t know!” Starchild laughed, shrugging. He calmed down and sighed. “But it’s fine. I jumped out of the way in time. So, what brings you here? I thought you were making preparations for that ball.”

“I was; we were able to finish making initial plans rather quickly, so I decided to come here to practice. How, er, how much of it did you see?”

“I saw quite a bit,” Starchild replied, smiling. “You were doing very well.”

A faint blue tint appeared on Tomaziel’s cheeks, and oh merciful Gods how was it so adorable? “Thank you… Do you know combat, Starchild?”

“I do,” he nodded. “In fact, that was why I came down here; I haven’t exercised in a while.”

“Oh.” Tomaziel quickly moved to the side and picked up a towel off a nearby bench to wipe his face. “Be my guest.”

Starchild stepped to the side to stretch out a little first. Lucky for him the outfit he wore was easy to move in. He moved to the center of the room and took a deep breath. He blew it out, and looked over his shoulder. “How does it start?”

“Oh, let me,” Tomaziel went over to a panel on the wall and placed his hand on it. The panel glowed an icy blue.

The targets began to move, and Starchild got into a fighting stance and focused. _Clear your mind, leave all your worries and thoughts at the door… focus. Concentrate._ His body began to glow purple as he felt his powers rushing through his veins.

He opened his eyes just in time for a target to swing at him, and released a Starbeam. It hit the target right in the center. And with that, he launched himself into the simulation, rolling and diving and attacking. Purple energy burst from his fists, hitting the targets and training dummies. His mind forgot to focus on anything else, in favor of getting through the course. He punched and kicked and shot, running through the training simulation fairly quickly. It felt good to move around like this.

Finally, he flew up into the air and conjured up three small purple stars. The stars connected together to form an upside-down triangle, and it glowed brightly with purple energy. He aimed it at the last remaining target and opened his mouth. A single, loud musical note burst from his throat, and it pushed a pillar of energy from the purple triangle straight at the target. It exploded into fragments, scattering along the floor.

Smiling, Starchild floated back down to the ground and wiped sweat from his brow. He felt much calmer now; his torrent of emotions had settled.

When he turned, he almost laughed. Tomaziel was staring at him completely dumbfounded. His look was almost awestruck. Starchild let himself grin. “So, how did I do?”

Tomaziel blinked. “How—How did you do?” he repeated. “That was… incredible!”

Starchild chuckled modestly. “I wouldn’t say that…”

“No, really! Those targets are made of the strongest metal in our galaxy. No one’s ever been able to destroy them like you destroyed that one!”

Glancing down at the fragments of burnt metal, Starchild laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to do that… sometimes I get overexcited.”

“No, it was incredible! And the way you used your voice… I’ve never heard of anyone using their voice like that before.”

“If I sing loud enough, I can create deep fissures in rock,” Starchild said as he went to sit down on the bench. “I’ve done it before.”

“I wish I could have seen that… Here.” Tomaziel went to hand him a cloth. “So you can wipe the sweat off your face.”

Smiling, Starchild extended his hand. “Thank you,”

But when his fingers touched Tomaziel’s as he took hold of the cloth, he froze.

There it was again; the static shock. It sent Starchild’s heart racing, because this time it couldn’t have been Tomaziel’s lightning being out of control. Or had it just been that?

“Is everything all right?”

Starchild blinked and realized he’d been staring at Tomaziel without saying a word. “U-Uh…” He wanted to tell him—all of a sudden he _so_ wanted to tell him. But how could he? What would happen next? What if it had just been a slip in Tomaziel’s control?

“Tomaziel,” oh Gods, why did he want to say his name over and over and over again, “could you… could I try something?”

He pulled his hand away, and Tomaziel moved to sit down beside him. “What is it?”

Starchild used the pause he’d given himself to wipe sweat off his face to gather up his courage. He set down the rag and turned to Tomaziel. “Could you touch my hand?” He held it out.

Tomaziel looked down at his hand. “Touch your hand?” he repeated. Was it his imagination, or was Tomaziel blushing?

He nodded, trying not to show how nervous he was. “Yes,”

There was a pregnant pause. Then Tomaziel lifted his hand to reach out for Starchild’s. For a moment, he faltered. But then his hand lowered, until they met.

And there it was yet again; the jolt of electricity. Starchild’s hand tingled and his heart raced even faster. This definitely wasn’t a slip of control.

“Tomaziel,” his voice had gone quiet. He looked up, into the aide’s dark eyes. “Are you… attracted to me?”

“I-I…” Tomaziel stared back at him. “… I don’t know if I should say it…”

Oh, but he looked like he wanted to. “Say it,” Starchild whispered. “Please… I want to know.”

“I… Yes… Yes, I am. I…” Tomaziel took his hand away before Starchild could stop him. “I know I shouldn’t be, and that it would never work between us, but… but I am. I just can’t help it. I—”

Without warning, Starchild suddenly grabbed him and pulled him forward. But a millisecond before their lips touched, his mind screeched to a halt and he froze. For a moment that seemed to last forever, they were completely still, just the shortest of distances between them.

Starchild’s mind was whirling. Every relationship he’d ever had started with a kiss, deepening to more passionate ones. It was what he’d been about to do, overwhelmed by Tomaziel saying he was attracted to him and this static shock he kept feeling whenever they touched really being the Spark and the sudden realization that he liked Tomaziel back and the sudden, intense desire to kiss him… but then he froze, forcing himself to stop. He was moving too fast. He had always gone too fast. Not this time… this time he wanted it to be different.

“… What’s happening?” Tomaziel said aloud. His voice was quiet.

“I… Tomaziel…” oh, it felt so _right_ to say his name. “I don’t know… but if you would have me… we could figure it out together.”

He pulled away and let him go so he could think. After so many years, all the times he’d been left heartbroken… could this be it? He almost didn’t want to believe it.

“You…” he glanced up to see Tomaziel had a shocked look on his face. “You are attracted to me too?”

Starchild nodded. “Yes. Would you… want to see what happens?” His heart pounded nervously. What was he going to do if he said yes? What was he going to do if he said no?

Finally, Tomaziel gave him a hesitant smile. “I would like that… very much.” He placed his hand over Starchild’s.

And they both felt the Spark that shocked through them at the touch and jumped in surprise. The unexpected spark seemed to break whatever tension was there, and it made Starchild smile and laugh as he took hold of Tomaziel’s hand. Tomaziel laughed himself, smiling brightly.

“I’m glad.” And he really was. “Will you join me for lunch tomorrow? Just the two of us.”

He was going to do this differently. He was going to slow down and let himself explore what he was feeling. He was going to give himself time to think. This would be different.

“I would love to,” Tomaziel squeezed his hand, smiling.

Starchild’s heart felt lighter, and with it returned the urge to kiss him…

Sudden footsteps made him turn his head, and he saw two guards marching up to their bench. They bowed, and one of them spoke. “Begging your pardon, Prince Starchild. But you have been summoned by the Elder.”

Starchild nodded. “Of course.” He rose and brushed down his clothing, then turned to Tomaziel regretfully. “I have to go now, but I will see you tomorrow. Is 11:30 a good time?”

Tomaziel nodded. “Yes,”

“Excellent. I’ll see you then.” He turned to follow the guards out, then turned back to grin and wink playfully at him. “Don’t be late!”

Tomaziel laughed. “I won’t!”

As Starchild followed the guards out of the training hall, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He felt so giddy he wanted to laugh and twirl around right there in the hallway. Where would this take him? He didn’t know. But maybe he didn’t have to know; maybe he just had to be willing to experience it as it happened. And he was. Tomorrow couldn’t come any faster.

That night when he fell asleep, his dreams were filled with blue, crackling electricity and the raven-haired Jendellian that controlled it. The scenes made him smile in his sleep as his hand tingled.


	7. The First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Starchild and Tomaziel have their first date!

Tomaziel cursed to himself as he hurried down the hall, not quite in a flat-out run, but he was close to breaking into one. He hadn’t meant to get caught up in his work, but suddenly he checked the time and realized it was 11:31. He told Starchild he wouldn’t be late.

The memory came to mind of Starchild smiling and winking at him and he smiled.

If he was being honest, he still couldn’t quite believe this was happening—not only did Starchild not mind that he liked him, but he felt the same way??? A part of him wondered if this was all just an incredibly pleasant dream. But no, it was real.

His feelings had grown from simply thinking Starchild was rather handsome as he spent more time with him. He had interacted with Starchild before now, had even toured with KISS on Earth before with a band of his own, but had never been able to spend time with him like now. He was still the same lively, energetic person he was before, but there was something different about him now; Tomaziel hadn’t been able to describe it until Starchild told him of his desire to be a better person, but he seemed more comfortable with himself. Happier. His whole face seemed to light up when he smiled or laughed, and oh, what a wonderful laugh it was…

He finally arrived at the room Starchild had told him to go and gently pulled open the door. It turned out to be a smaller dining hall, perhaps for a more private affair, which Tomaziel secretly appreciated; as much as he liked Starchild, he didn’t want rumors to start flying around. The table was over beside a large window that overlooked the Garden Dome, and Starchild himself was already sitting there. His head turned from the window as Tomaziel entered the room, and a smile appeared on his face. “There you are,”

“I’m sorry I’m late,” he apologized as he closed the door. “I lost track of time.”

Starchild shook his head. “It’s all right, I understand. Please, sit.” He gestured to the chair across from him. As Tomaziel sat down, he asked, “I do understand, but I have to ask,” he batted his eyelashes and smiled innocently at him, “what could possibly be more important than me?”

Tomaziel felt his face flush, but couldn’t help laughing along when Starchild began to giggle. “You need to stop flirting with me,” he laughed, even though he really hoped he wouldn’t stop.

“I can’t help it,” Starchild giggled. “You always look so flustered, and it’s adorable.”

Tomaziel’s laugh turned into a shy giggle. _He thinks I’m adorable…_ “Well, to answer your question, I was doing more preparations for the ball, and then…” he couldn’t help frowning a bit as he remembered the stack of papers that had been on his desk, “I had to do paperwork.”

“Ah, I see,” Starchild nodded as he spooned out food for himself. “Paperwork is always so time-consuming.”

“It really is,” Tomaziel couldn’t help sighing. “I realize its importance, but it really is so time-consuming. And it was so much.”

“No one ever tells you how much paperwork there is involved, do they?”

“They never do! Why is that?”

“I have no idea,”

Tomaziel looked up at him curiously as he served himself food. “I remember Ace complaining before about how much paperwork he had to do. Is it the same for you?”

Starchild sighed. “I try not to complain, but yes, it is. Ever since I began to take a more active role in running the kingdom, I have had to do more of it, and it’s exhausting.” After a moment, he gave Tomaziel a smile. “But enough about paperwork. How are you? I realized I never got the chance to ask how you’ve been since I last saw you.”

“I’ve been…” Tomaziel thought for a moment and shrugged. “I’ve been well.” He smiled slightly and added, “Though lately, I’ve had to be on my guard so the Princess doesn’t surprise me with a practical joke.”

Starchild laughed. “Really? What a little troublemaker.”

“She’s been running her poor governesses ragged all week,” Tomaziel laughed. “She kept trying to sneak away from them.”

“I know, Ace told me. She kept trying to sneak off so she could find me.”

“That sounds about right. It seems she’s a fan of yours.”

“Oh, I know; I finally got to meet her yesterday. I was waiting for her to suddenly and by pure coincidence run into me all week. I was even trying to be in easy places for her to look!”

Tomaziel couldn’t not smile at that; Starchild hadn’t been obligated to do it, but he did it anyway. “That was kind of you.”

Starchild chuckled, and Tomaziel couldn’t help thinking of how at ease he felt around the Prince. It was nice to feel this relaxed with someone. Then he thought of something Starchild had said and spoke again, “I just thought of something; it has been a while since I last saw you. The last time I saw you was…” How many years ago had it been?

“When you and your band toured with KISS,” Starchild finished. “Black ‘N Blue.” He smiled. “That was fun.”

“It was,” Tomaziel agreed, smiling back. “It was a little nerve-wracking; I had never been to Earth before. But I loved it, and everyone else did too.”

“How are they all? Do you still keep in touch with them?”

“I do. They’re all doing very well.”

“Tell them I said hello. Tell them Demon says hello, too. He will never admit it, but he enjoyed touring with you all.”

Tomaziel laughed and nodded. “I’ll tell them. They always say how wonderful it was to tour with you and the others.”

“I’m glad you had such a good time,” Starchild smiled happily. He gave a laugh. “You all certainly fit the part. I barely recognized you with your blonde hair.”

Tomaziel’s cheeks flushed at the thought of his blonde hair. “Oh… really?”

“No, I liked it!” Starchild insisted. “I thought…” To Tomaziel’s surprise, Starchild’s cheeks grew slightly pink. “I thought you looked wonderful with blonde hair.”

“Oh…” Tomaziel’s face grew warmer. “Thank you…”

There was a pause, in which Starchild’s eyes lowered to his plate and he ate some of what he had. Tomaziel did the same, but after a while couldn’t help looking back up and staring at him. His cheeks were still pink, and his fingers had drifted up to fiddle with a lock of his hair, and his eyes had turned back to the window. He looked… shy. Tomaziel had never seen Starchild look shy before. He never seemed the type to _be_ shy; he sang and danced and laughed and always carried himself with confidence. It was a little odd to see him like this. And yet at the same time, Tomaziel couldn’t help thinking that Starchild looked slightly cute when he got the pink in his cheeks. It was sweet.

Starchild’s eyes suddenly flicked up to meet his. “What are you staring at?”

His voice was adorably confused, and Tomaziel just had to crack a smile at it. “Nothing. I just…” he set down his fork. “I’m happy you liked my blonde hair.”

A small smile appeared on Starchild’s face. “I did. It looked like hair from a poodle.”

“Is that good?”

“It’s very good. Besides, I have heard a saying on Earth about blonde hair.”

“What is it?”

For some reason, Starchild’s smile widened slightly. “Gentlemen prefer blondes.”

He burst into a fit of giggles, while Tomaziel’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I… I don’t get it.”

“Have you never seen _Gentlemen Prefer Blondes_? With Marilyn Monroe? It’s an Earth movie.”

“Oh… No, I haven’t.”

Starchild gasped dramatically. “Well, that won’t do. I’ll have to show it to you sometime.”

“Is it a good movie?”

“Oh, definitely. Anything with Marilyn Monroe is amazing.”

Tomaziel smiled. “I’ll take your word for it. You seem to have good taste.”

“Actually, I don’t; her movies are just always available to watch in the hotels we stay at. But thank you.”

And with that, the lunch continued, both of them switching between eating and making conversation, but Tomaziel didn’t feel pressured to actively make conversation. He liked being able to sit there and be comfortable with Starchild.

It was a little difficult, though, to fight off the desire to kiss Starchild whenever he laughed. It was a joyful sound, and held such a sweet note to it, and Starchild’s entire face lit up and his eyes sparkled, and Tomaziel would find himself wondering what it would be like to lean across the table and press a kiss to those red lips. But he refrained from doing so, remembering what had happened the day before; Starchild had pulled him forward, but then stopped right before their lips met. Perhaps he didn’t want to kiss just yet.

When lunch was over, they both stood up to leave. Tomaziel felt slightly disappointed that it was over. “I enjoyed this,” he said as they headed for the door. “Really, I did.”

Starchild smiled at him. “So did I… Will you be free tomorrow?”

Tomaziel’s heart skipped a beat. There was a possibility of something like this happening again? He quickly recalled what he would be doing tomorrow, and his hopes died slightly. “I… I don’t think so…”

Starchild’s smile faded into a look of disappointment. “Oh…”

After a moment of hesitation, Tomaziel reached out to take his hand. “But… sometimes after I finish everything I have to do for the day, I like to go to the library.” 

Starchild perked up slightly. “You do?”

Tomaziel nodded and smiled coyly at him. “I do. The quiet helps me to relax.”

“What a coincidence,” Starchild mirrored his coy smile. “I like to do the same thing. I was thinking I would go there to find a book to read after dinner tomorrow. Perhaps I’ll see you there?”

“Maybe. Who knows?”

“Who knows?” Starchild echoed. He turned away to open the door, sadly having to let go of his hand, then paused and turned back around. He stepped back over to Tomaziel and slowly leaned in to press a kiss to his cheek. He pulled away and smiled. “Until then,”

Tomaziel watched him open the door and leave, following him after a moment and walking in the opposite direction. His cheek tingled, and he reached up to graze the spot Starchild had kissed.

A giddy smile bloomed across his face as he fought the urge to giggle uncontrollably. He definitely wouldn’t be able to focus at all for the rest of the day.


	8. In the Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Starchild and Tomaziel meet in the library (purely by coincidence), and Starchild thinks about what he wants.

The next day passed surprisingly quickly, slipping by into the evening. As Starchild said he would, after dinner he went to his bedroom to change clothes, then went to the library. His heart pounded in anticipation in his chest and there was a small, eager smile on his face as he speed-walked to the library.

He hadn’t been able to talk to Tomaziel all day because they were both so busy. But there were moments where they would make eye contact, smile at each other, and look away. Starchild just couldn’t help smiling at him; when he made eye contact he would remember the day before and how things had gone so well and their plan for that evening, and the smile would appear across his face by itself. How happy had he felt when Tomaziel brought up his habit of going to the library in the evening?

When he arrived at the library, he passed by the librarians and gave a simple nod; they knew his face after his coming there so often. He went to find the book he’d been reading for a while now; the librarians insisted it stay in the library rather than let Starchild take it back to his bedroom with him. Where was it…

“Good evening, Prince Starchild,”

A smile immediately crossed Starchild’s face and he turned around. “Oh, Tomaziel,” he said happily, managing to keep his voice casual. “I didn’t expect to see you.”

“Neither did I. What a happy coincidence.”

“What a happy coincidence indeed. What book are you reading?”

“This one,” Tomaziel held up his book, “about the Sphynxian deities. What about you?”

“I’m trying to find the book I’ve been reading for a while. It’s about the secularization of politics.” When Tomaziel raised an eyebrow Starchild laughed sheepishly. “It sounds boring, I know… but it’s interesting.”

“Do you believe religion ought to stay out of politics?” Tomaziel asked as he followed Starchild down the aisle of bookshelves.

“I tend to believe it should. Political decisions affect entire nations, and entire nations can include many religions, or even atheists who do not follow religion. It would be unfair to make political decisions based in religion when not everyone in the nation follows that religion.”

“If I may speak my mind…”

“You may,” Starchild smiled as he scanned the shelf. Aha, there it was! He reached up to take the book off the shelf.

“I agree. Separating religion and politics seems a rather common-sense decision to me. I realize others may disagree, but that is my opinion.”

“I agree with your opinion. I believe we could all stand to benefit from expressing opinions in a civil way.” Starchild smiled at Tomaziel. “I have my book. Shall we go read somewhere?”

Tomaziel smiled back. “I know where we can go,”

“Lead the way,”

Starchild followed behind Tomaziel as they ventured off deeper into the library. They passed by rows upon rows upon rows of shelves, until finally Tomaziel stopped. “Here we are,”

He swept out a hand to a small alcove near the back of the library. It looked like it had been sectioned off as a little reading area, as there were cushions set up everywhere and even a pitcher of water and cups ready to be used. “This looks nice,” Starchild said as they went to sit down.

“The librarians have it set up for people who like to read in the library. I come here sometimes for the peace and quiet.”

“I like it. I may come here again the next time I’m here.”

They sat down on cushions across from each other and opened their books. Then the two of them descended into a comfortable silence as they began to read.

No matter how engrossed Starchild got in his book, every so often his eyes would flick up to glance at Tomaziel. The Jendellian seemed completely absorbed in his book; he had an enraptured look on his face that Starchild couldn’t help but find incredibly sweet. He liked the look—more than that, he liked that he could sit here with another person and just read, and not have to worry about impressing him or making conversation, or even about kissing him or showing affection. It was refreshing.

But he did wonder if Tomaziel was a little confused by his behavior. And to be fair, Starchild probably had caught him off guard; he had grabbed him, pulled him forwards to kiss him, then suddenly stopped. And then he only kissed him on the cheek, and nothing else since then. His actions probably seemed strange. But he didn’t want to go any further than a simple kiss on the cheek, not just yet—he wanted to go slower this time and not dive headfirst into his feelings. Besides, this relationship was only two days old, if it even counted as a relationship yet.

And what about when this trip was over? He was only going to be in Jendell for two more weeks. What would happen when he had to leave? Would whatever they had be ended? Starchild hoped it wouldn’t.

He sighed quietly. He was getting trapped in his own head again. Calm down, take deep breaths. He would figure it out. In the meantime, he would simply relax, sit here in the library with Tomaziel, and read his book, and he would kiss Tomaziel when he was ready.

At one point, Starchild happened to glance up and noticed Tomaziel’s cheeks had turned faintly blue and a smile creeping across his face. “What are you thinking about?” he asked.

Tomaziel glanced up at him, then looked back down at his book. His smile turned shy. “I… nothing…”

“Come on,” Starchild nudged his leg with his foot with a smile. “You can tell me.”

“Alright…” Tomaziel looked up at him with the same shy smile. “A thought just popped into my head…”

“And? What was it?”

“What if… What if we were to kiss, right here, in the library?”

For a moment, Starchild wanted to laugh; he’d been wondering if it was a dirtier thought, but no, it was just an innocent little daydream. But Gods, it was adorable. A smile appeared on his face, but then it faded as he remembered what he himself had been thinking about. “I… I don’t think we should,”

“You’re right. We’re technically in public, so someone could see us—”

“No, it’s not that. I… I just don’t want to do that yet,”

“Why not?” Tomaziel quickly added, “If you don’t mind me asking, that is…”

“No, I don’t mind. It’s just… I’ve been in relationships before. But this one… for some reason I want it to be different. I always move too fast, but this time I want to go slower. I want to give myself time to think and explore what I feel for you. I want to get to know you more before I kiss you.”

Understanding came to Tomaziel’s face and he nodded pensively. “I see…” he shrugged. “I can’t blame you for wanting that. It would be nice to get to know each other more before we do anything, er… intimate.”

Starchild wanted to laugh, but instead gave him a hopeful look. “So you don’t mind? I know that probably came out of nowhere, but… do you not mind?”

“That you want to take things slowly? No, I don’t. I think it’s a good idea.”

Starchild’s heart fluttered. “Wonderful. Also,” he gave a laugh, “‘anything intimate’? Why, Tomaziel, I haven’t even kissed you yet.”

Tomaziel laughed with him, his face faintly blue. “I was trying to generalize,”

They went back to reading, and Starchild couldn’t help smiling down at his book. He felt lighter after telling him that, lighter still knowing Tomaziel not only understood but thought it was a good idea. The giddy feeling came again, but this time, instead of feeling the urge to kiss the Jendellian, Starchild felt the urge to do something very different.

When Tomaziel looked up at him next, Starchild had hidden the lower half of his face behind his book, but it was still clear he was grinning at him. He furrowed his brow and smiled slightly. “What?”

Grinning, Starchild crossed his eyes. Tomaziel laughed. “How did you do that?”

“What, this?” He crossed his eyes again, but this time lowered his book, stuck out his tongue at him, and raised it back up.

Tomaziel laughed again, then turned back to his book. Not even a few seconds later, he looked back up at Starchild, who immediately made a face at him. “Stop it,” he chuckled, smiling. Starchild shifted his book to free his hands, then pulled down his eyelids and stuck his tongue out at him again. “Stop it!”

“Stop what?” Starchild blinked at him innocently.

“Stop making those faces,” Tomaziel laughed.

“These are my normal faces,”

“No, they’re not,”

“Yes, they are.” Starchild pulled his eyelids up with one hand and pulled down his chin with the other. He started giggling when Tomaziel covered his mouth to muffle his laughter.

“You silly,” Tomaziel chuckled, reaching out and poking his side. Starchild jerked and giggled again, hiding his wide smile behind his book. The action made Tomaziel raise his eyebrow. “What was that?”

“Nothing,”

“Oh really?” Smiling slyly, he reached out to poke his side again.

Starchild jerked again, unable to stop the giggles. “Cut that out,” he laughed, and reached over to poke Tomaziel in the side. When Tomaziel jerked away and laughed, Starchild grinned. “Hah!” He poked him again to make him laugh. “There; I poked you twice. Now we’re even.”

“Fine,” Tomaziel chuckled. “We’re even. Whatever makes you stop doing that.”

“But you look so cute when you laugh,” Starchild smiled innocently at him.

“So do you,” Tomaziel smiled back. “But we should get back to reading; the head librarian may kick us out if she hears us talking too loudly.”

Starchild sighed dramatically. “Fine, I suppose we can go back to reading.”

“Hang on.” Tomaziel shifted to stretch out and settled his feet across Starchild’s legs. He grinned. “Now we can go back to reading.”

Starchild laughed and went back to his book. His mind still turned, thinking about their conversation. If Tomaziel was open to taking their relationship slowly, simply test the waters and see what happened, then he had nothing to worry about. He could feel more open to telling Tomaziel what he wanted to do. He could communicate with him. And perhaps that meant they could continue this experiment after his stay was over.

Starchild smiled to himself and kept reading, enjoying the feeling of Tomaziel’s feet across his legs.


	9. Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which old insecurities arise for Tomaziel, and there's only one person he wants to see to talk about it.

The days passed by, until another week had come and gone. Tomaziel found himself enjoying the days. The meetings were all going smoothly, or at least without many complications or arguments breaking out, the preparations for the farewell ball were well underway, and best of all, he’d slowly begun spending most of his free time with Starchild.

They would eat together, walk through the Garden Dome together, or sit in the library and read, or simply just sit and talk. It felt so easy to talk to Starchild. There was just something so open and inviting about him. And he was incredibly flattered that Starchild felt the same way about him, enough that he could tell him he wanted to go slowly.

Admittedly, Tomaziel had been seriously considering throwing his book aside and kissing Starchild right there in the library before he said something. Even after agreeing to take things slow, he still felt the urge, sometimes at the worst of moments. The urge had struck during a meeting of all places, completely out of nowhere, and suddenly his head was filled with the image of springing to his feet and passionately kissing Starchild right there in front of the Council members and Senators. But he held himself back, reminding himself that he would kiss Starchild when Starchild was ready for it. A simple kiss on the cheek was enough for now. Besides, no one knew of the two of them yet.

Just seeing Starchild was enough to put Tomaziel in a better mood. He knew he wouldn’t be able to see Starchild every moment of every day; they were both incredibly busy. Starchild additionally would sometimes say he wanted to be alone, and even if it disappointed him a little, Tomaziel let him have the space he wanted. He would always seek Tomaziel out eventually, and he would take his hand and perhaps kiss his cheek and every time give him a smile that took Tomaziel’s breath away.

This time around, however, Tomaziel was the one seeking Starchild out.

He wandered the halls, almost aimlessly as he tried to find him, and the entire time his memory relentlessly replayed the events of earlier that day—of that nobleman and his haughty look, and the way he had looked at Tomaziel like he was dirt scraped off the bottom of his shoe, and the words he’d said.

_“What I do is none of your business, commoner. Go off and rejoin the rabble, where you belong.”_

“Commoner”… he hadn’t been called that in so long. It was no secret that Tomaziel hadn’t relied on nepotism to get to where he was; he had worked hard for his position. Most had gotten to the point where they didn’t care anymore, but some… some people just couldn’t let it go that a man who wasn’t a noble was aide to the King himself. And this man had been one of them. He’d practically spat the word in his face.

And now, here he was, seeking out Starchild for no reason at all, other than that he felt the urgent need to see him.

Finally, up ahead, he caught sight of a familiar head of black hair. There was Starchild, walking down the hallway with the Elder. Was he interrupting something? _Probably something not fit for a member of the rabble to hear…_

His feet still carried him forward anyway, until he was right behind them. “Excuse me,”

The two of them turned around, and Tomaziel saw a happy look flit across Starchild’s face. “Yes, Tomaziel?” the Elder asked. “Is there anything you need?”

“I…” He lowered his head respectfully. “My apologies for interrupting, Elder. But I… I needed to ask him something.”

By some divine luck, Starchild looked at him for a moment, then turned to the Elder. “Do you mind if we continued our conversation later?”

“No, of course not,” the Elder responded. “We will talk later.” She nodded to Tomaziel. “It is good to see you, Tomaziel.”

Tomaziel inclined his head to her.

Once the Elder had walked off, Starchild moved them both against the nearby wall, smiling at him. And despite everything, Tomaziel’s heart still lightened at the sight of it. “I thought we were going to meet later. Not that I mind, but what’s this all about?”

Tomaziel forced himself to smile back. “No reason. I just wanted to see you.”

“You’re so sweet.” Starchild swiftly leaned in and kissed his cheek. “How has your day been?”

“Fine…”

A horrible thought suddenly occurred to him—did Starchild know of his background? Did he consider him lower class? Had he ever thought less of him because he wasn’t royalty, or even nobility? His heart twisted painfully at the possibility. Anyone else, he could perhaps be all right with. But not Starchild. Just the possibility of the person he’d fallen for considering him a lowly commoner was making his heart crack in two.

Starchild looked at him inquisitively. “Is everything all right?”

Tomaziel bit the inside of his lip and wondered if it was worth saying anything. “Yes,” he eventually replied, nodding his head. “I’m fine.”

A bit of a frown appeared. “Are you sure? It seems as if something is bothering you.”

Was it worth it in the end to keep insisting he was all right? As if sensing his thoughts, Starchild reached out to touch his hand. “You can tell me, whatever it is,”

When Tomaziel glanced up and saw the gentle look on his face… well, he couldn’t resist that. He sighed and took hold of the hand. “Something is bothering me…”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I… I don’t know. It’s silly.”

Starchild squeezed his hand. “If it’s bothering you, it can’t be all that silly,”

Tomaziel looked up at him again. “You really wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not,”

After a moment, Tomaziel nodded. “Follow me; I would rather talk in private.”

* * *

Starchild followed behind him as he led him down the hallway and turned many times. Tomaziel’s heart began to pound as they got closer to their destination, until finally they came to the right door. He opened it and went inside, and let Starchild enter before closing it behind them.

Starchild looked around at the simply furnished chambers. “Are these your chambers?”

How did he know? “Yes, they are. How did you know?”

He smiled slightly at Tomaziel. “You don’t seem like the type to extravagantly decorate your living quarters,”

A faint blush came to Tomaziel’s face. “Oh…”

“It’s all right; I like them. They’re very you.” Starchild shifted to clasp his hands behind his back. “Now, tell me what is bothering you.”

Tomaziel looked up at him apprehensively. “You… won’t think it’s silly, will you?”

“I promise you I won’t,”

He believed him… Tomaziel took a deep breath, blew it out, and began. “Earlier today, I ran into a nobleman, that I knew because we went to the same finishing school. He… Well, he was berating this poor servant girl for making some mistake, so I stepped in to defend her. And he recognized me, and…” He swallowed roughly as he remembered the look on the man’s face. “He gave me this… look, like I was something scraped off the bottom of his shoe. And he said… He called me a commoner, and told me to go rejoin the rabble, where I belong.”

A frown slowly appeared on Starchild’s face and his eyebrows knit together. “Why would he say something like that to you?”

Here goes… no turning back now. “Because… I don’t come from a noble family. We have wealth, yes, but we aren’t nobility. In school, sometimes I would be looked down upon for not being from an old wealth family. And I know I shouldn’t care what others think of me—I worked hard, and I earned my position. But I… I haven’t heard someone insult me for it in so long that it just… hurt.” He averted his gaze to the floor of his room.

“Tomaziel…” Starchild reached out and took hold of his hands. “I’m sorry it hurt you. I understand—sometimes old pains can hurt even when you think you have moved past them.”

Tomaziel couldn’t help glancing up at him for a brief moment before flicking his eyes back to the floor. “Have you… Have you ever thought… less of me, because I’m not a noble?” He dreaded hearing the answer even as he asked the question. If Starchild said yes… he would be devastated.

“No,” Starchild squeezed his hands. “Tomaziel, look at me.” Tomaziel looked up to find him gazing at him sympathetically. “I have never thought less of you. To be honest, I didn’t even know. But even if I did, it wouldn’t change how I feel about you. You are kind and compassionate, and you care about others; you are patient, willing to accept people for who they are; you work so hard and are so dedicated to what you do. I like you just as you are.”

Tomaziel’s heart beat faster at his words. “You really don’t care?”

A small, gentle smile came to Starchild’s face as he shook his head. “I don’t care.” He drew Tomaziel into a hug. “I wouldn’t care if you were the poorest man in Jendell. I like you for who you are; your family’s standing doesn’t matter to me.”

Tomaziel laid his head on Starchild’s shoulder, savoring the embrace. When he pulled away, Starchild gave him another smile. “Do you feel better now?”

Tomaziel couldn’t help taking in the sight of him for a moment. This man, who had abandoned what he was doing so he could give Tomaziel comfort… did he even know how beautiful he was? Inside and out?

He kept his hold on Starchild’s arms. They hadn’t fully pulled away from each other, so their arms were still linked together from the embrace. “I do. Thank you; you didn’t have to listen.”

“Yes, I did,” Starchild immediately replied. “I care about you. I… I really do like you.”

“So do I,”

The two of them fell silent, simply staring at each other. Starchild’s head was tilted slightly, like he was contemplating something.

And Tomaziel would never be sure of who moved first. But then they both leaned forwards and their lips met in a kiss.

Tomaziel’s eyes slipped closed. He could feel the Spark as it passed between him and Starchild. It wasn’t a deep, passionate kiss, rather a simple, sweet one, but it still sent Tomaziel’s heart racing. Starchild’s lips were soft and smooth, and they seemed to fit perfectly against his own. For one wild moment, he felt like the world was finally perfect, like the one piece he hadn’t even noticed was missing had finally fallen into place. _Right_ was the only way to describe it—it felt incredibly _right_ to kiss Starchild.

When Tomaziel finally pulled away for air, it was incredibly reluctantly. Starchild’s eyes were still closed, and he watched as they slowly fluttered open to look at him. There was a look of slight surprise on his face, like he was in deep thought.

Tomaziel’s heart began to pound. Had they kissed too soon? “I… Was that too soon? I know you wanted to wait to do that, but…” he trailed off.

After a moment, Starchild shook his head. “No… It wasn’t too soon.” A smile came to his face. “I think that was perfect.”

He felt the urge to laugh, and a laugh did burst out of him. “Good… because I really enjoyed that.”

Starchild laughed, and it was like music to Tomaziel’s ears. “So did I,”

He leaned in and kissed him again, softly and gently; Tomaziel happily reciprocated, letting his eyes slip closed again. The rest of the world melted away, until it was just him and Starchild, kissing in his chambers. And for some reason, Tomaziel felt like it was meant to be this way.

* * *

That night as he got into bed, Starchild sat there for a moment and stared at his knees. His hand lifted to idly graze his lips, and a giddy smile appeared on his face. He had kissed Tomaziel today. He hadn’t expected it to happen at all, but it did. He could still remember feeling the electricity as it sparked against his lips. He remembered how his heart raced. Tomaziel’s lips were incredibly soft, slightly chapped, but oh so gentle. They seemed to fit perfectly against his.

Starchild fell back onto the mattress and stared up at the ceiling as uncontrollable giggling took over. Oh, even if this went nowhere, even if they failed, even if nothing came of this relationship, he was going to remember that moment for the rest of his life.


	10. String of Fate(?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which old memories resurface, and Starchild worries about his future with Tomaziel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys remember reading the ending of "Make Me Feel Again", prepare for a bombshell!

Starchild headed down the hallway for his room, walking as quickly as he could without breaking into a full run. His head was down, eyes trained on the floor, and it was getting harder to swallow as he felt more and more like he was going to cry. When he finally came to his guest chambers, he headed inside, closed the door behind him, and sagged against it. He sank to the floor and pressed his face to his knees, willing himself not to cry.

They were well into the third and final week, and everything was beginning to intensify. The meetings were longer and in greater number each day, and Starchild was being asked for his opinion on everything, even if he knew fully well his opinion wasn’t needed. Everyone was hoping to get all the diplomacy matters completed in time for the end of the week, when the ball would arrive and then there would be two whole days of leisure time before the KISSterians left Jendell. He hadn’t been able to get time to himself that lasted longer than ten minutes in days. His stress was mounting, and although he knew it was only a few more days it still didn’t keep his stress levels down.

His only reprieve had been the time he’d been able to spend with Tomaziel, and even that wasn’t a lot. Most of the time they could only see each other in the evenings, and by then they were both so tired they couldn’t do much.

Which brought Starchild to the other problems he was facing. The end of his time on Jendell was drawing nearer and nearer, which meant alongside everything else he was constantly thinking about his relationship with Tomaziel. What was going to happen when they weren’t in close contact with each other, and they weren’t seeing each other all the time? Starchild didn’t have as much free time as he used to—he had his royal duties and KISS to worry about as well. He wouldn’t even be in KISSteria part of the time; he would be realms away on Earth. What would happen then?

All of his stress had been bound to reach its peak eventually… and it had, earlier today.

_He was in the library with Tomaziel, enjoying a rare few hours of free time. Somehow they had ended up sitting so close together that Starchild could lean his head on Tomaziel’s shoulder._

_He couldn’t even remember how the conversation had gotten to this point, but Tomaziel asked him,_

_“What about… Nikki Terror?”_

_Starchild fell silent for a moment. “… What about him?”_

_Tomaziel’s voice sounded awkward. “Well, I… I don’t know all the details, because Ace would not tell me, but I heard… you and he were… together.”_

_“Yes, we were,” Starchild answered easily. “But that part of my life is over.” He raised his head and found Tomaziel’s mouth opening and closing, the Jendellian seeming to be at a loss for words. “What is it?”_

_“I… I am not sure how to say it,”_

_He took up Tomaziel’s hand and squeezed it. “You can just say it,”_

_“… What happened to end things with him?”_

_Starchild froze at the question. A glowing purple string flashed in his mind. “I thought about our relationship for the longest time, and realized it wasn’t one I wanted to be in anymore,” he answered, carefully choosing his words. “So I ended things with him. That’s all.”_

_Tomaziel looked at him and frowned. “Are you sure that is all?”_

_“Yes, I am.” Starchild hated the look being directed at him. It was like Tomaziel knew he wasn’t telling him the details._

_“Starchild… Forgive me, but… I feel like you’re hiding something from me.”_

_Starchild frowned. “I’m not hiding anything from you. I’m telling you the truth.”_

_“But is it the full truth?”_

_“Why does it matter if it isn’t the full truth? What happened is exactly what I said.” And yet the glowing string was still hovering in his mind._

_“Whatever it is, you can tell me—”_

_“I don’t have to tell you anything when there isn’t more to tell.” Starchild’s hand slowly began to leave Tomaziel’s. “Can we talk about something else?” Anything else; he had too much to think about right now to be dwelling on the past. It was why he’d been cherishing this little bit of time he could spend with Tomaziel, and he didn’t want his stress to be any higher than it already was._

_Tomaziel’s frown deepened. “Then why do I feel like you are still hiding something from me?” he pressed, shifting to look right at him._

_Starchild’s own frown darkened and he turned to look at him. “Have you considered that maybe I don’t want to tell you more?” he suggested irritably. “It’s pointless to waste time on things that don’t matter right now. I ended things with Nikki because I wasn’t happy anymore—that’s all you have to know.”_

_“Don’t I have the right to want to know more? I am the one in a relationship with you—”_

_“This relationship could end, Tomaziel!” Starchild’s voice began to rise in volume. “Have you even thought about what will happen when this week is over, and we aren’t seeing each other every day anymore?”_

_“Have you?”_

_“I have, actually. That is what we should be thinking about right now instead of something that happened years ago!”_

_“If it doesn’t matter now, then why are you so insistent on keeping it a secret from me?” Tomaziel interrogated. “What, do you not trust me to know the truth?”_

_“You wouldn’t understand—”_

_“Yes, I would!”_

_“No, you wouldn’t! Because what I did messed with fate itself and destroyed whatever belief in myself I had and it’s taken me years to crawl back from hitting rock bottom! I don’t want to tell you because you won’t understand! And you can say you will understand all you want, but it won’t make a difference because I know you won’t! That is why I don’t want to tell you, Tomaziel.”_

_Silence. Tomaziel stared blankly at him as he stopped angrily ranting. After a moment, Starchild turned away and got to his feet. “I have to go. My free time is over.”_

And after that, he spent the rest of the day avoiding him.

Starchild sniffled and hugged his legs closer to his torso. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Tomaziel at all—he trusted Tomaziel so much. He felt like he could tell him anything. But they had only been seeing each other for not even two weeks. It was still far too early to burden Tomaziel with anything like that… no matter how much Starchild had wanted to tell him everything. Even tell him…

The memory of that night played in his head—the purple candle burning, his voice chanting the spell, the wax melting and pooling in the candle holder, and the glowing purple string around his finger slowly breaking apart.

Tears pricked at Starchild’s eyes. How could he tell Tomaziel—sweet, kind, wonderful Tomaziel—something like that? They still barely knew each other. He longed to tell him everything. But he couldn’t; not even Tomaziel would be able to understand something like that, especially not now.

Starchild didn’t even realize he’d begun to cry until he raised his head and realized tears were streaming down his cheeks. He hadn’t meant to yell at Tomaziel; he’d been so stressed out lately it had just happened…

He forced himself to stop crying and stared down at the floor. “I have to fix this,” he said aloud. He didn’t want to lose whatever he was forming with Tomaziel. Not now, and not when his stay was over.

So he scrubbed away the tears with his hand and stood. He blew out a shaky breath, then turned to leave. It was later in the evening now, meaning hopefully Tomaziel had retired to his chambers for the night.

Starchild traveled swiftly, trying his hardest to remember the way, and it barely seemed like any time had passed before he was suddenly standing in front of the door to Tomaziel’s chambers.

His heart began to pound. Would Tomaziel even want to talk to him? Would he even want to see him?

_You have to fix this. You have to try._

He raised his fist and knocked on the door.

For a moment, he heard nothing. Then he heard the muffled sound of footsteps, before the door handle turned and the door swung open.

There was Tomaziel, dressed in a set of nightclothes. He looked exhausted and sad, and it made Starchild’s heart twist with guilt in his chest. When he saw who it was, his look changed to one of surprise. “Starchild?”

“I need to talk to you,” Starchild said urgently. “Can I come in?” He looked pleadingly at him. “Please?”

For a moment, Tomaziel didn’t move. Then he sighed and stepped to the side to let Starchild enter. He closed the door and turned to Starchild, who was gathering up his courage. “If this is about earlier today—”

“It is,” Starchild turned around. “I—”

“I thought we didn’t need to talk about that. You made that perfectly clear.”

Starchild’s heart cracked in two at his words. “No, Tomaziel, please…” He moved forward to take Tomaziel’s hands. “Please let me explain, at least. You can let me stay, or throw me out—whatever you decide, I will do. But please let me explain first.”

After a moment, Tomaziel sighed again. “Fine. Explain.”

Starchild led him to his bed so they could sit down. “You were right; I wasn’t telling you the full truth. Because the truth was… so hard for me to accept. When I met Nikki, he was full of so much pain, after years of abuse and being forced to fend for himself. I… I thought maybe, if I loved him hard enough, and I loved him unconditionally, I could… fix his pain, and make him whole again. And Nikki… I wanted to be with Nikki because I thought it was what true love was like. We were connected by a String of Fate. I thought I would be happy with Nikki, and that I could give Nikki peace.

“But I… I was wrong. That wasn’t what ended up happening. All I did was make Nikki latch onto me, become obsessed with keeping me safe. And the longer I stayed, it was just so I could feel better about myself, and who I was. And I hated the thought of being the one who caused Nikki pain by leaving him. We had no real connection anymore. It was unhealthy by the end… so unhealthy for both of us.

“I didn’t even realize it until it was almost too late. And when I realized Nikki was too unhealthily attached to me, and when I realized I wasn’t happy, but was staying anyway, because I was so unhappy with who I was… I was scared, and confused, and heartbroken. I wanted to stay, I truly did, but I knew I couldn’t. So I severed my… my ties to Nikki, and ended our relationship for good. And after that, I realized if I was going to be happy, I had to be happy with who I was first. And ever since then, I have been trying to grow, to become someone I am happy to be.”

Starchild squeezed Tomaziel’s hands. “That’s the truth. The full truth. I swear. I loved Nikki so much… but it took me years to realize I didn’t need to feel like I had to fix him. And if you think I still have feelings for him—I don’t. I haven’t thought about Nikki in years. All I’ve thought of is how much I want to become a better person. And when I am with you… I feel like I can be myself around you. I can be vulnerable around you. And I know we’ve only been together like… like this, for a week and a half, but,” Starchild swallowed roughly, “it’s been wonderful.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the whole truth. But please… please forgive me. And if not, please try to understand what I’ve said. I…” A tear rolled down his cheek. “I don’t want to lose what we have.”

He fell silent, waiting for Tomaziel to answer. His heart slowly beat faster the longer Tomaziel stayed silent. Was this it? Was it over?

Finally, Tomaziel exhaled. “Thank you for telling me. I understand now.”

Hope flickered in his chest. “So you aren’t mad at me?”

“I never was mad at you. I just… didn’t understand why you wouldn’t tell me.”

“I didn’t want to tell you, because I still feel like I barely know you. I didn’t want to make you feel like I was burdening you with too much. But I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. I’ve been so stressed out from all that’s happening, but that’s not an excuse.”

“So have I… maybe it was a mistake to bring up unpleasant memories…”

Starchild couldn’t help hugging him tightly. “Don’t feel sorry about that. You couldn’t have known. Do you forgive me?”

He felt Tomaziel’s head press against his. “Of course I forgive you,”

Starchild sighed as he felt the last of the guilty weight slide off his shoulders and smiled. “I’m so happy to hear that,”

They stayed like that for a while, hugging each other. Then Tomaziel said aloud, “I’ve been thinking about what you said… about what will happen when you have to return to KISSteria.”

“Really?” For some reason, nervousness began to prickle at Starchild’s insides.

“Yes,” Tomaziel pulled away, but kept their hands joined. “I don’t want to lose what we have either. I want to find a way to stay in contact with you. Maybe through letters?” He gave a sheepish laugh. “That was all I could think of…”

Starchild smiled and laughed. “It’s a good idea. But we can figure it out together.”

“Yes, we can.” Tomaziel peered at Starchild’s face and laughed. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” Starchild asked innocently.

“Like you want to do something… mischievous,”

Starchild giggled. “I was just thinking of how I want to kiss your cute face,”

The faintest blue tint rose to Tomaziel’s face and he laughed. “If you want to, then please do,”

Laughing, Starchild leaned in and gave him a soft kiss. He felt the Spark flicker on his mouth and smiled.

When he pulled away, Tomaziel spoke again. “I do have one more question,”

“Yes?”

“You said you and Nikki were connected by a String of Fate… Do you think we are too?”

Starchild paused in surprise at the question, then gave a faint laugh. “I don’t know actually. But maybe…”

He took up Tomaziel’s hand, closed his eyes, and focused. His Star Eye began to glow purple. And as it did, a purple string slowly appeared, tied around Starchild’s finger, and connected to…

Starchild opened his eyes, and a smile bloomed across his face when he saw the purple string wrapped around Tomaziel’s wrist. “I suppose we are,”

Tomaziel raised his hand to gaze at the purple string in awe. His eyes flicked up to meet Starchild’s. Then he smiled happily and burst into a fit of giggles. Starchild found himself joining him—he just felt so happy. This relationship hadn’t ended; they weren’t over; they were going to find a way to stay together.

In the back of his mind, Starchild knew he was still keeping one more thing from Tomaziel. But the logic from before still stood—they had only been together for a week and a half. It was much too early to tell Tomaziel every little thing when he still didn’t know every little thing about him. But Starchild was no longer worried; now that he knew this was going to continue, he had time to wait. He had all the time in the world. 

He would wait until he was ready to tell Tomaziel he had severed his String of Fate to Nikki Terror.


End file.
